I want a donut. :: Off Topic

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Χάρης May 29, 2021 @ 7:22am

I want a donut.

what do I have to do?

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Originally posted by Soap:

First accept that there may not be anything you can do. Once someone starts wanting a donut, they might never be satiated.

Commonly, people try to solve the problem by eating a donut. But then they want another, and another! AND ANOTHER! Then they’re full and can’t eat anymore but they’ve fallen into what I call: The Donut Hole.

They’ll digest those donuts and probably move onto other foods for a time. But their body remembers how good the donuts were and eventually they find themselves wanting a donut again. This is how Donut addiction starts, as a simple once a week habit.

What you need to understand is that there is only one solution. Tell yourself until you believe it. There is only one solution. There is only one solution.

By this point you may be thinking I’m sounding like one of those scammy marketers. Well that’s because I’m mocking them for the humor. But nevemind that for now. I was thinking of telling you a story like they do, but there’s just no time to waste when we’re talking about saving you from the risk of becoming a donut addict.

If you’ve read this far, then you’re aware of the potential for danger and also that I have a solution. What is the solution you ask? Well I’ll tell you for no cost to you. Because I’m just that wonderful. I’ve helped countless others in your same situation. You can listen to the testimonies of real people I’ve helped later.

I’m not going to make you listen to them first because I’m not actually marketing anything. I’m just making fun of scammers. Remember there’s only one solution.

It’s simple and easy and I don’t ask anything in exchange for this solution. This is the only solution I’m offering. Everyone I’ve helped got the same solution.

You must go into the business of making donuts.

That might not make sense at first because you’re new to this Hole [Donut] thing. But hear me out. If everyone like you goes into the business of donut making, there will be so many donuts that they’ll be given away for free every day. Everyone on Off Topic could have free donuts daily. All thanks to you! You’ll be a hero!

When enough people are making donuts and there is such a demand for them to be free, the govt might even subsidize them. That’s like free money!

I won’t even collect a fee for giving you this solution. I’ll just get by on the same donuts as everyone else.

But you do have to do one thing. You have to take the initiative and start making donuts. Not everyone has what it takes. But I believe in you. With me in your corner, I believe you can do it.

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Showing 1-15 of 53 comments

MonoAlice May 29, 2021 @ 7:23am

get donut

Privette May 29, 2021 @ 7:25am

become a donut

screamingcrane May 29, 2021 @ 7:25am

If you live in a decently populated area there most likely is a place to buy local but I think if you payed everyone on this page a million you`d get a much much better donut.

Lord Flashheart May 29, 2021 @ 7:26am

Maybe swap for your soul?

Privette May 29, 2021 @ 7:26am

Originally posted by screamingcrane:
If you live in a decently populated area there most likely is a place to buy local but I think if you payed everyone on this page a million you`d get a much much better donut.

make it a million dollars

Blargo May 29, 2021 @ 7:34am

Do 7 backflips, then scream as loud as you can into the sky.

A donut will rain down from the heavens for you.

AdahnGorion May 29, 2021 @ 7:40am

Go to
https://store.steampowered.com/app/825210/Donut_Shop/

DarkCrystalMethod May 29, 2021 @ 7:40am

You cannot find donuts when you're at the soup store.

Psycho May 29, 2021 @ 7:42am

i think everyone subconsciously wants a donut at all times

Jonathan Sensei May 29, 2021 @ 7:43am

If you want a doughnut, I suggest baking one.

#10

Electric Cupcake May 29, 2021 @ 7:45am

Walk around the corner to a bodega or Aldi or something.

Or try making your own if you have an air fryer or oil fryer.

Or baking in the oven, but that's boring.

Last edited by Electric Cupcake; May 29, 2021 @ 7:45am

#11

Kamiyé May 29, 2021 @ 9:07am

1. Go to the beach
2. Swim out somewhat far, but not too far
3. Pretend to struggle to swim
4. A helpful individual known as a lifeguard will swim out to you and offer you a very large donut

#12