garfield kart is the physical equvalent to halo

[patch.macho.2007]

Garfield Kart is the physical equivalent to Halo. With an amazing storyline. And amazing characters. Most people don't understand why Garfield is racing Jon in a go kart match. But people whom have an high iq can understand the lore. Jon was fed up with Garfield being a fat cat, and had enough. He put him into a go kart and said "Race me or you'll never see your lasagna again." So Garfield raced him. And they raced, and raced, and raced, and raced. Until they've given up. Jon knew he was defeated. But he never gave up. He called down Odie to join the race. It was a fierceful 2 v 1, with aliens flying around everywhere and pies being thrown But it seemed like nothing could take down Garfield. Then it happened. The final race. Every character was against Garfield. They were fed up with his winning streak. They all decided to join together and build one mega kart. One so powerful that not even Papa Luigi could take down. Garfield was still confident that he could win. Then the day approached. The race began. The sky was dark. It started to rain. It all came down to this one race. Garfield was ahead, as always. But he noticed his car was starting to fall apart. His engine started to smoke, and his wheels were slowly coming off. There was a mark on his kart saying "Nermal <3" Garfield was furious, and he continued to race, even when death seemed likely. His car, only having two wheels left and a burning engine, coming close to the finish line. Where Vito was waiting for him, with a hot, steamy lasagna. The car blew the third wheel. Only one wheel left, but Garfield still was going. Until. Jon pulled out a c4 and said "THIS IS THE END FOR YOU, FAT CAT." He threw it at the car, and detonated it. An explosion could be heard miles away. There was nothing left of the kart but a could of smoke. But, ladies and gentlemen. This wasn't the end of garfied. Vito went to Garfield, who seemed to have passed out. He fed Garfield the lasagna, hoping it could wake him up. "I believe in-a you, Garfield." Vito said. "Wake up." Garfield's eyes opened. "It's-a miracle!" Vito shouted. Garfield got on a little board with wheels. The mega kart full of the other characters was closing in on Garfield, but the finish line was right there. The kart did a mega-boost that would leave Garfield in the dust. But using the strength Garfield got from Vito's lasagna, he pushed the board towards the finish line. They were head to head, Jon, who looked almost insane, went full power. He started throwing the other characters off to gain speed. He was doing anything he could to gain enough speed to beat Garfield. The smoke clears, the finish line was destroyed. It looks like it has been a tie. But the final replay played. Silence from the audience. Jon looked at the replay and almost cried. The winner was... Garfield.All over the internet, I notice you churlish cretins bickering in an attempt to assert what you mistakenly believe to be the pinnacle of literature. I hear some of you say: Shakespeare, Milton, Dante or (laughably) Dickens. I am no indiscriminate literati. I have read the depths of human literature in all the known languages of man (and several that would be unknown to many of you supposed academics). The mere trash commonly circulating amongst you ignoramuses, I hold in the highest contempt. You will never hear me advocating those puerile emanations which detail nothing but discordant principles incapable of amalgamation, or those vapid tissues of ordinary occurrences from which no useful deductions can be drawn. Indeed, I posit that the ideals of literature you hold so dear are a factitious residue from years of ignorance. You fools all operate under the precept of what you think constitutes good literature. You are all inured to your incorrect notions of artistic merit which have been inculcated into you since childhood. What you buffoons fail to recognize is that the pinnacle of art is manifested in the form of Garfield. Yes, you have read correctly. Of all the extant literature I have encountered in my spiritual voyage through the canon and beyond, the one work that is able to resonate with me on a spiritual level is Garfield. I can already see you all being sent into hysterical histrionics at the very notion I have suggested. However, I stay steadfast and declare this truth openly. If you desire to challenge the assertion I have made then I invite you to trial by combat (or as some of the more internet savvy amongst you might say “@ me”) so that our contest of cerebrums can be determined by pugilistic decision.

I will now engage in a free-flowing but dialectical discourse on why Garfield is the apotheosis of literature. Throughout the centuries, humanity has always used literature as a means of self-expression - as a means to externally manifest an internal truth. We see this in all of the great works, an engagement with the question “what is it to be human?”. These works explore the shared human condition, albeit with different lenses. Garfield is no different. A simple comic that can be refined down to three fundamental characters: Garfield, Jon and Odie. Now whilst we might expect this exploration of humanity to be conducted through the vessel of Jon, a human, who most clearly bears a resemblance to our shared humanity this is in fact a reductive reading. Instead we must conceive of all three characters as forming a trinity of three different persons who combine to represent the overarching state of the human condition. What is Garfield? He is our basest impulses, our repressed desires. Who amongst us doesn’t love lasagna? Who doesn’t hate Mondays? Allow me to explicate this further for you. Garfield, more than just enrapturing us with his his nubile, feline ways represents the human desire for a simple, unstrenuous existence through his fatuous attitude . When he boldly declares “I hate Mondays” it is hard to suppress tears at the resonance of this message. It permeates across humanity to all the working men, women and children of the world as they slave their days away in servitude. When he goes forth and eats all of Jon’s lasagna he embodies our repressed hedonistic desires. Garfield represents our desire for emancipation from the shackles of human existence. What then is Jon? Jon is the foil to Garfield. But he is more than this, he is the everyman. He is our avatar, for us to superimpose ourselves unto. He represents man in the absence of Garf’s light (as I have come to call it). Jon’s status as a philistine ennobles us to seek our enlightenment. Our pathos for Jon in his prelapsarian state motivates us to seek our own spiritual transcendence. And what then is Odie? I would now like to relate this discussion to the musings of Sigmund Freud. I feel his suggestion as to the structure of the human psyche has never been utilised better than in the works of Jim Davis. Garfield, of course, is the id representing our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses. Jon by contrast is the super-ego reflecting the cultural rules we have internalised, striving to abide by the social norm. Odie then is the ego, perpetually seeking to satisfy the id’s desires. We can see this in the obsequious, sycophantic behaviour of Odie who seems to long for Garfield’s satisfaction. This is not to say, whoever, that they do not come into conflict for, indeed, they certainly do. However, I regard this as a representation of the frequent clash that we find between the id and ego in our own lives. As Garfield espouses, our base desires cannot always be met - which is a primary source of conflict in our existence (this is one of the many lessons I have learned from Garfield). In short, what Jim Davis has done is create a simulacrum of the human experience, condensed into the activities of one trifecta of beings.

When I was an impecunious young man still living in the absence of Garf’s light, I was not aware of the depraved nature of my existence. The lessons Jim Davis had to teach me were but distant meteorites yet to impact upon the surface of my spiritual existence. Readily I accepted my lot in life, not questioning the deep repressed desires I had within me. However, once Garf’s light entered my life, all my previous held convictions and beliefs were shattered. That antediluvian existence of mine immediately became profane and repugnant to me. I had an intense desire to become worthy of Garth’s teaching, through the betterment of myself. As such, my philosophical musings were informed by the lessons of Jim Davis and Jim Davis only. All my previous life experience appeared as a sterquinarium to my existence post-Garflightenment. Whilst my past life could be characterized as lachrymose, in Garfield I had found not only my peace but my happiness. I already see many of you still retaining the quixotic sentiment that a mere cartoon cannot provide spiritual nourishment. Indeed, I can only imagine the fervent uproar generated at this suggestion. Yet I cannot help but ponder why Garfield’s teachings have not already garnered a gargantuan accretion of followers. Moreover, I find it laudable that you buffoons think to mock me for my superior state. I’m sure you think you have found your fill in your other so-called ‘religions’ but, contrapuntally, I must assert that you couldn’t be further from the truth - Garf’s truth. I can hear the cacophonous uproar this post is generating amongst you. Yet I feel the congery of fans that Garfield has generated over the years, whilst respectable, is not nearly sufficient to pay tribute to the masterpiece that Jim Davis has created for us. The lack of recognition for this man is a diminution of what should be his prophet-like status. I can only imagine what was going through Jim Davis’ mind when he delivered Garfield unto us. What kind of thoughts were circulating in that maelstrom of intellectual power that lead to the creation of our truth. In my mind this moment is the pinnacle of human achievement. Jim Davis’ work transcends all others. I hear some of you retorting “but what about Edison turning on the light bulb or Marconi turning on the radio or Beethoven writing his fifth. To you detractors I say, keep your peace. The sublimities of Garfield are wasted on you heathens. You haven’t the moral rectitude or intelligence to appreciate him. The tumult of my mind can barely contain the new heights of spiritual gratification Garf has bestowed upon me. Even with the luxury of a million years, I could not enumerate all the ways in which Garf’s light has ennobled my life, elevating me from a boorish ignoramus to the intellectual titan you see before you. My mind has become a gargantuan planet in comparison to the minute particle it formerly was. I need not assure you that my testimony is not comprised merely of fictitious fabrications but is a completely faithful account of my enlightenment.

Don’t obsequiously post in the comments with your “haha I hate mondays” or “lol lasagnas”. I ignore such attempts at appeasement with a deference only maintainable through the will of the Garf (please ensure you capitalize the G when spelling his name.) I hope this little excursus will militate against you ignoring Garf’s light any longer.

[Jonathan Sensei]

I hope you copy/pasted all this. Because that was way too much effort to type for a dead meme.

[MikeBob2013]

Sweet Mother McCree, what are you on? 😲

[Ramonkey]

Lasagna

[Chuuya Nakahara]

I love that game, it feeds me life.

[patch.macho.2007]

Originally posted by Jonathan:

I hope you copy/pasted this because that was (is) way too much effort to type for a dead meme.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀no, i want to perish

[Captain n00by]

Fred Durst will have a field day here...

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

I hate Garfield Kart.

[Jonathan Sensei]

Originally posted by Makoto Yuki:

I love that game.

Hm.

Originally posted by Makoto Yuki:

It feeds me life.

I thought that was panta.

[Birds]

*merit into which you have been inculcated since childhood.

for your consideration: histrionic hysteria.

I might argue this is more diacritical than dialectical.

shared condition different lenses is smothering an apogee of rhetorical butt.

IS garfeld 'nubile?' youthful of heart though he may be he carries the weight of an adult's portion of lasagna.

invoking frued to postulate garfield as the id suggests that davis views garfield as an expression of his mother. probably not relevant but I enjoyed the imagery it conjured i.e. jim davis as a catgirl.

but HOW is it laudable? what do these unwashed heathens have to offer, questioning Garf's light with such obsequity?

imagining Tesla reading Garfield and/or playing Garfield Kart now.

unrelated, but I thought you might derive audio-visual pleasure from this funny video I saw once:

https://youtu.be/NAh9oLs67Cw

good dissertation/thesis, but it needs more references to extant scholarship in the field before I can sign off on it. here is a list of people famous for beating this dead horse, please "@" them to prevent accusations of clout-farming.

[patch.macho.2007]

Originally posted by Large Bird:

*merit into which you have been inculcated since childhood.

for your consideration: histrionic hysteria.

I might argue this is more diacritical than dialectical.

shared condition different lenses is smothering an apogee of rhetorical butt.

IS garfeld 'nubile?' youthful of heart though he may be he carries the weight of an adult's portion of lasagna.

invoking frued to postulate garfield as the id suggests that davis views garfield as an expression of his mother. probably not relevant but I enjoyed the imagery it conjured i.e. jim davis as a catgirl.

but HOW is it laudable? what do these unwashed heathens have to offer, questioning Garf's light with such obsequity?

imagining Tesla reading Garfield and/or playing Garfield Kart now.

unrelated, but I thought you might derive audio-visual pleasure from this funny video I saw once:

https://youtu.be/NAh9oLs67Cw

good dissertation/thesis, but it needs more references to extant scholarship in the field before I can sign off on it. here is a list of people famous for beating this dead horse, please "@" them to prevent accusations of clout-farming.

iv watched that video before and yes i enjoyed every second reading the straight for hour after hour with out end

[patch.macho.2007]

jim davis made the best cat girl

[Birds]

lost in bigger booty theory, a radical new response to the 'shared condition different lenses' school of bodies & spaces which theorizes that class issues can be reduced to the size of ones butt and addressed accordingly (i.e. through means-tested diet and execrise programs,) cannot muse upon theoretical transgendered Garf who might make a better or worse catgirl than Jim Davis.

[patch.macho.2007]

Originally posted by Large Bird:

lost in bigger booty theory, a radical new response to the 'shared condition different lenses' school of bodies & spaces which theorizes that class issues can be reduced to the size of ones butt and addressed accordingly (i.e. through means-tested diet and execrise programs,) cannot muse upon theoretical transgendered Garf who might make a better or worse catgirl than Jim Davis.

this pleases the garf

[Chuuya Nakahara]

Originally posted by Jonathan:

Originally posted by Makoto Yuki:

I love that game.

Hm.

Originally posted by Makoto Yuki:

It feeds me life.

I thought that was panta.

Oh it still is, Panta will always be my living source.

[patch.macho.2007]

Originally posted by MikeBob2013:

Sweet Mother McCree, what are you on? 😲

im on that GARF COMIC #17437