Is it rude to ask someone if they want a gift?

[Emilio]

Sometimes I ask my brother or sister and some close friends if they want me to give them something they mentioned a while ago. So I ask if they still want it and often get no as an answer, but it's honestly hard to tell if they think it's rude to accept and by extention rude of me to ask the question or if they no longer want the thing they mentioned some weeks/months ago.

[Adversary]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Emilio:

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย ᚨᛞᚡᛖᚱᛋᚨᚱᛃ:

A truly generous person does not have to ask if they are generous, nor do they need to ask to be generous. If you wish to give someone something, pay attention to what they like, what they dislike, and what they may desire at the moment. Then, when the opportunity arises for you to be such, take it.

Though keep in mind some people do not like being given things - I am one such person, I absolutely dislike being given anything I didn't ask for, nor anything I didn't specifically earn. Pay heed to what their personality might show in that regard.

Im not doing it to be generous or to hold myself in very high regard as a generous person.
But like if my brother mentions a game 4 weeks ago and it's on sale today I ask simply asks him if he still wants it and get a no.
Like I am not going to go out of my way to watch my family's spending habits day in and day out to make constant purchases for them, just a little thing now and again.

If he says no, then that's his answer. That's all you needed to hear in that regard.

Also, the reason why people who are generous don't have to ask if they are generous is the same reason someone who is thoughtful doesn't have to ask if they are thoughtful - because those who have to ask, aren't. Those who think they themselves are, are not. It's something attributed to you by someone else.

Perhaps there is a language barrier here and/or I am not understanding something due to the fact that I am a bit touched in the head. Regardless, it is not for me to care as I've already given my response. If you feel the need to get defensive that is entirely upon your end.

[Nailes]

Asking isnt rude per say, but people will likely just say No because they if they say yes, its as if they are asking for a handout in their mind, even if you offered it.
Give gifts to loved ones because they are loved ones. Others, stick to birthdays or when you have another reason. The only exception to that last part is when its small gift that doesnt place any burden on them, like buying someone a coffee at a cafetaria.

[Emilio]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย ᚨᛞᚡᛖᚱᛋᚨᚱᛃ:

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Emilio:

Im not doing it to be generous or to hold myself in very high regard as a generous person.
But like if my brother mentions a game 4 weeks ago and it's on sale today I ask simply asks him if he still wants it and get a no.
Like I am not going to go out of my way to watch my family's spending habits day in and day out to make constant purchases for them, just a little thing now and again.

If he says no, then that's his answer. That's all you needed to hear in that regard.

Also, the reason why people who are generous don't have to ask if they are generous is the same reason someone who is thoughtful doesn't have to ask if they are thoughtful - because those who have to ask, aren't. Those who think they themselves are, are not. It's something attributed to you by someone else.

Perhaps there is a language barrier here and/or I am not understanding something due to the fact that I am a bit touched in the head. Regardless, it is not for me to care as I've already given my response. If you feel the need to get defensive that is entirely upon your end.

Im not getting defensive but it just felt like you where a tiny bit accusational with the whole generous speech. There really is not much back thoughts on my end besides 'they mentioned a thing they wanted, I propose buying it some time later and if it's rude to do so.' Nothing about me being a good person for doing so.

[Xautos]

on the flip side if you are that generous and get someone a gift, even thoughtfully to what they want, it could seem like you are trying to push the gift into their lap without them having a choice. that can actually be rude.

[Birds]

Small gifts actually freak me out more than big ones. I often feel like a walking charity case, and prefer giving things away. To non-greedy people, unless they're actually in need of the thing.

Being extremely poor has torn down a lot of the pride barriers to accepting other people's help, but as a result I tend to pay for too many things once I get money.

More like I enjoy being care-free than that I'm especially generous I think. But idk, I'm bad at self-assessment regarding these things.

[Adversary]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Emilio:

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย ᚨᛞᚡᛖᚱᛋᚨᚱᛃ:

If he says no, then that's his answer. That's all you needed to hear in that regard.

Also, the reason why people who are generous don't have to ask if they are generous is the same reason someone who is thoughtful doesn't have to ask if they are thoughtful - because those who have to ask, aren't. Those who think they themselves are, are not. It's something attributed to you by someone else.

Perhaps there is a language barrier here and/or I am not understanding something due to the fact that I am a bit touched in the head. Regardless, it is not for me to care as I've already given my response. If you feel the need to get defensive that is entirely upon your end.

Im not getting defensive but it just felt like you where a tiny bit accusational with the whole generous speech. There really is not much back thoughts on my end besides 'they mentioned a thing they wanted, I propose buying it some time later and if it's rude to do so.' Nothing about me being a good person for doing so.

No, no accusations were involved whatsoever. I have a tendency to be longwinded and overly verbose, because I am Autistic and thus it is part of my nature to be such. Since you have provided a bit more clarity to further my understanding of your plight, let me be succint.

Do you think it is rude? Does the person you are offering the gift to think so?

[WhispersOfTheWind]

No it's not rude, I think even it's better than just getting someone like a stranger or a known person or individual a gift, in which case of announcing it you can prepare them because some people just don't like surprises, even if they're nice and neat like that.

[Rio]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Chump:

Small gifts actually freak me out more than big ones. I often feel like a walking charity case, and prefer giving things away. To non-greedy people, unless they're actually in need of the thing.

Being extremely poor has torn down a lot of the pride barriers to accepting other people's help, but as a result I tend to pay for too many things once I get money.

More like I enjoy being care-free than that I'm especially generous I think. But idk, I'm bad at self-assessment regarding these things.

I have fun giving gifts to people that don't like gifts. Its pretty funny to me.

Too bad steam requires being friends with people to gift.

[Ramonkey]

The only thing that’s rude is when the person receiving the gift starts complaining about it

[Birds]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย ⛧黒い虹⛧:

I have fun giving gifts to people that don't like gifts. Its pretty funny to me.

Too bad steam requires being friends with people to gift.

Do you do redundant gifts as well, like if someone is complaining that they have too many lawn gnomes would you gift them another one?

[Rio]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Chump:

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย ⛧黒い虹⛧:

I have fun giving gifts to people that don't like gifts. Its pretty funny to me.

Too bad steam requires being friends with people to gift.

Do you do redundant gifts as well, like if someone is complaining that they have too many lawn gnomes would you gift them another one?

Nah. I'm not about useless gifts.

[Ramonkey]

One can never have too many lawn gnomes

[Birds]

โพสต์ดั้งเดิมโดย Ramonkey:

One can never have too many lawn gnomes

They're a safer investment than a 401k. Their value never decreases and nobody will steal them.

[🖤Lyra🖤]

Yes you have just offended the entire universe. Lol

[Kobs]

You do not ask someone, if you feel like giving something to someone you do it otherwise it's not a gift