Why is it hard for me to socialise?

[Panazois λ]

I just can never seem to say "hi nice to meet you" maybe it's because I think it's too cliche when people say things like "hi, how are you?" "Good? Ok I am happy". Just seeing or hearing those words makes me feel so sick to my stomach when a person I care and or love says them.

[F]

I don't know, I suck at socializing too. Can't help ya.

[Magma Dragoon]

Undiagnosed Asperger's

[Brimzel]

I'm terrible at socializing, mostly because I don't know what to say or my mind just goes into panic and I'm filled with anxiety. About the greetings... well, no one is forced to make up different greetings everyday right? Hoi, howdy, heyo, wazup, hey dawg... everyone has their own way to greet or talk with others, if you don't like "hi nice to meet you", just make up something else and be unique.

[Brimzel]

Publicado originalmente por Panagiotis (Панаётис):

Just seeing or hearing those words makes me feel so sick to my stomach when a person I care and or love says them.

Awful judgy of you to say that. I'm pretty sure they mean no harm in wanting to know how you feel. If you feel distressed by such things, you should seek medical help.

[Angel]

I'm very sociable but I just say "Hi, how are you?" I think if you can't tolerate the basic forms of greetings then you can try "out there" approaches to break the ice but there's a reason why classic ice-breakers are classics.

[Radene]

Socializing isn't about pleasantries and cookie cutter "politeness phrases".

It's about actually, y'know, talking to people.

[sage2001]

Because you waste your time making threads on Steam.

[GuRu Asaki]

Why is it hard for me to socialise?

Because you use a Social Network? & use your Cell Phone too much?
It shouldn't be that hard to Socialize... ~_~

[Kobs]

I'd say i'm "older" and I never had friends... well what I call friends, peoples I talk to are just peoples passing through my life I guess society call that anti social but I'm quite alright alone I don't feel left out of anything I just don't "want" to be with peoples but when I have to go to parties or family gathering i'm not acting like a jerk I talk to peoples but I like my life alone
I don't think anyone should feel bad if they're not socialising it's just the way some peoples are.

[Azza ☠]

Because you are asking close ended questions, rather than open ended ones.

Open ended questions require more than a mere Yes/No or single worded response, but rather take on a sentence as a reply. That prevents awkward pausing or the chat from just ending. Rather the other person starts chatting away. They talk about what they are interested upon and you just nudge the topic to a shared interest.

It's not about being good at talking, but rather good at listening.

[GuRu Asaki]

Anti-Social is not about that, really...

Anti-Social is when you never speak face to face,
& never make contact, or interaction at all with anyone...

Simply posting a video, or a message on a Feed that people can read
Is not actually a form of Socializing... Because there is no communication,
there is only post, & wait for Reply... It's completely different...

Social Networks, are not actually Social, they are Anti-Social...



If your too worried about saying something you might feel is cliche,
or would offend someone, or whatever it is that makes you feel that way...

Communicating & Socializing is not that hard, your not suppose to worry
about any of that, just throw out the first thing that comes to your mind,
let free with whatever you wanna talk about... Speak up, & just go with it...

The only real hard part of Socializing, is knowing what to communicate about,
I have that problem all the time...

What do we talk about "Obviously we don't wanna talk about Games, but
what else is there? Such a hard topic" This usually can't be helped, but
not trying at all, is never going to get you anywhere... This is probably
why some start with a greeting or hello...

Cliche, lame? Maybe, but at least it's a step up from standing there
& doing nothing...

[EASY PETE]

Maybe you should ask the question why you are hard for socialising

[Incarnate]

Chit chat always feels forced and inauthentic with strangers.

Most people just have a high tolerance to awkwardness and meaningless blather. At least that's my warped, autistic view of the world. (Thank god for the internet where all us weirdos can vent.)

[GuRu Asaki]

Chit chat always feels forced and inauthentic with strangers.

When you both or all of you are Anti-Social, yes actually it does feel forced...
But when your all communicating on a level where it's normal, & free spirited,
or whatever... It becomes less forced, & feels a lot less forced as well...


I think my point was...

Is until you break the cycle, your always going to see the world this way,
& feel this way about it... & never see it any other way... To break that cycle
is not something you can do over night, won't be easy, but it is doable...

It's just you have to think? Do you wanna spend your whole life on
a Social Network, & on the Cell Phone, & never really engage with anyone
for real? Or do you want more, do you wanna explore the bigger world?

You gotta think, what best fits you... If the bigger world is not for you,
then there is nothing wrong with that...

[Panazois λ]

Thanks everyone.