Ripest Farts? :: Off Topic

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Red™ Dec 17, 2019 @ 3:28pm

Ripest Farts?

I remember I eat too much chicken nuggets and beans that day. I thought I’ll release a quick one and move on. It was silent, but it was so much more than deadly. The stench was so bad everyone cleared out the room. Some kids even cried from that horrible smell. But there was a fat kids in that room, so everyone glared at him. That was the greatest and the worst fart I ever released and I’ll probably never do it again. What’s your fart story?

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Showing 31-45 of 91 comments

Red™ Dec 17, 2019 @ 4:43pm

Originally posted by THE REAL JOKER™:
Originally posted by Red Son™:
Oh hey Joker. How’s Asylum?
just awesome.. we're all celebrating the holidays right now.. batman was invited but still has shown up the old sourpuss..

Say that again and I’ll make sure you get extra lobotomy.

#31

Red™ Dec 17, 2019 @ 4:49pm

Originally posted by THE REAL JOKER™:
Originally posted by Red Son™:
Say that again and I’ll make sure you get extra lobotomy.
you wouldn't dare.. i know you to well.. old bean..

Why did you say that name? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?

#32

Red™ Dec 17, 2019 @ 4:52pm

Originally posted by THE REAL JOKER™:
you strangle me bats... i win...

*bring you back to life with Lazarus pits and then choke you again*

#33

Tony Twist's Thunderous Right Dec 17, 2019 @ 4:53pm

I once literally tested the saying 'like a fart in church'. Turns out that something going over like a fart in church is actually funnier than the saying makes it out to be.

#34

crgzero Dec 17, 2019 @ 6:48pm

So the company I work for randomly but pretty consistently buys snack trays of veges, like cauliflower, carrots and brocoli with some kinda of ranch with bits of the same veges chopped up and added in....

Anyway, it's a big metal shop full of mostly old men. So, old men and several veges known for giving people gas.

I don't need to describe it further.

#35

TLDswitchstart Dec 17, 2019 @ 7:26pm

Not one of mine but years ago, a friend of my father did one next to the deli counter in the supermarket and fooled the butcher into thinking that the meat had expired and replaced it all.

#36

Samwise Dec 17, 2019 @ 8:01pm

i remember two times someone almost cleared entire room with their gas.

first one, happened in gamestop long time ago. Two guys walked in and i heard snappy "pop" sound. I recognized it as a snappy fart. The whole store smelled like a mass grave. It must had been one of the times the clerk cursed the day she decided to work there.

Second one, was FAR WORSE. I never smelled worst smell in my entire life. It was back in the school, i was taking some evening courses, and girl next to me released silent one. Teacher literally didn't come to that corner, when she was checking people's homework.

Smell was like...imagine, zombie eating 1kg of rotten eggs, rotten beans, rotten milk, then having massive diarrhea and other zombie, which is even more decayed, ate all that diarrhea, and had diarrhea of its own, and shot all that out from its ass, in a massive gas cloud of death.

I wanted to jump out of the window, or very least run outside the classroom, but i sure as ♥♥♥♥ didn't want to take the blame over that fart.

I swear god, you could use that smell as a torture to squeeze any information you wanted from anyone.

#37