Fortune Cookies

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I freakin' love Panda Express, I can't get enough of their orange chicken. It's delicious. And they give you a fortune cookie with every meal, so eventually I got the idea to start collecting the fortunes. Each time I got Panda Express from that point, I would put the fortune from the fortune cookie in a box. Here is my fortune as told by Panda Express, over the course of a few years and in no particular order:

"Your desire to discover new frontiers will lead you far."
"Many opportunities are open to you, seek them out"
"The best mirror is often a good friend."
"Your life will be peaceful and fulfilling." (lol yeah right)
"Your personality is fueled by the fascination you feel for life."
"You are a person of imaginative, yet honest intentions."
"Next summer, you will dance to a different beat"
"Share your happiness with others today."
"You will touch the hearts of many."
"You will take over a large sum of money."
"Quality counts and you've got it."
"A good position and comfortable salary will be yours."
"Visit a park, enjoy what nature has to offer"
"Smile, a frown keeps others away"
"You will step on the soil of many countries"
"You have an accurate and professional mind"
"You will be involved in many humanitarian projects"
"Your most memorable dream will come true"
"Fortune smiles upon you at this time"
"Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment"
"Your kindness will lead you to success"
"The sun will shine through your heart and warm your soul"
"Executive ability is prominent in your makeup"
"A cheerful greeting is on its way"
"A solid challenge will bring forth your finest abilities"
"An unexpected event will soon bring you fortune"
"Try something new and different. You will like the results"
"Modify your thinking to handle new situations"
"Fame and fortune lie ahead"
"You have great physical powers and an iron constitution"
"Joy will come with the return of a good friend"
"You will be awarded some great honor"
"You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy"
"There are big changes ahead for you"
"If you dream it - it will happen"
"Listen to friends with an ear to the future"
"Simplicity in style will bring desirous eyes your way"
"You are heading in the right direction"
"A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't"
"A treasured friend will soon visit you"
"If you look in the right places, you can find good offerings"
"You are exactly where you're supposed to be"
"Love first, then everything will follow"
"A personal mystery will be solved with a smile"

I am writing this mostly out of boredom, but also to reflect on the wisdom that only Panda Express could realize, with their delicious orange chicken recipe, etc... I'm just kidding, fortune cookies are BS. But there's some uplifting stuff in there, and I remember certain ones were weirdly applicable. I'm glad I kept them.

Do you like getting fortune cookies? Because I wish that kind of thing was everywhere, even at like a steakhouse, or KFC. Just random advice and assumptions written on paper and stuffed in food. It's great.

[Oggy246]

me: loses job and go broke
fortune cookie: "you are heading in the right direction"

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Originally posted by ✦「Natspooka」✦:

me: loses job and go broke
fortune cookie: "you are heading in the right direction"

Nailed it.

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

tfw the paper is blank

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Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

tfw the paper is blank

That hasn't happened to me yet, but that's gotta be some kind of omen

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

It happened to me once when I was visiting family and we went to one of their little local restaurants

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Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

It happened to me once when I was visiting family and we went to one of their little local restaurants

I googled "blank fortune cookie" and people are saying it's a good thing, and that it means something good will happen. One person said it means the fortune-cookie fairy owes you a fortune.

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Originally posted by Mattmoo:

Are any of them real, though?

Maybe they're a bit like cheat codes.

They're real in a sense that they exist, stored in a box.

Some of them hit the nail on the head, but definitely not all. If they are cheat codes, I'd like to learn how to activate them. Many of the fortunes suggest success that hasn't happened (yet?)

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Originally posted by Miss Ann Thrope:

I preferred the fortune cookies in the Shadow Warrior games.

I wish I understood the reference but it's a game I haven't played

[secuda]

Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

tfw the paper is blank

Happends to me. Not that it bother mme or anything i am just in for the cookie.

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Originally posted by Miss Ann Thrope:

Originally posted by Platinum Angel:

I wish I understood the reference but it's a game I haven't played

They were collectibles found in the Shadow Warrior games, with sayings such as:

"Some days you're the pigeon. Other days you're the statue. Today is more of a statue day."

That's a good one, I like that. Too bad Panda Express isn't as cryptic. Most fortune cookies I get just tell me how awesome I am. It's nice, but doesn't usually make you think.

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

Originally posted by secuda:

Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

tfw the paper is blank

Happends to me. Not that it bother mme or anything i am just in for the cookie.

Platinum Googled it, may not be such a bad thing.

Originally posted by Platinum Angel:

I googled "blank fortune cookie" and people are saying it's a good thing, and that it means something good will happen. One person said it means the fortune-cookie fairy owes you a fortune.

[𝓡𝓮𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓒𝓪𝓽]

We used to have one where I live but it shut down, I loved the place. It's hard to beat orange chicken and rice with a glass of wine and some Netflix, that's my typical "relaxation time".

[secuda]

Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

Originally posted by secuda:

Happends to me. Not that it bother mme or anything i am just in for the cookie.

Platinum Googled it, may not be such a bad thing.

Originally posted by Platinum Angel:

I googled "blank fortune cookie" and people are saying it's a good thing, and that it means something good will happen. One person said it means the fortune-cookie fairy owes you a fortune.

Ah i see, like i said they are perfect for the te or coffe any way, not that hung upp on blank text.

[Fumo Bnnuy n Frends]

Tbh you can just buy them at the grocery store. Fortune cookies taste a dime a dozen like unsweetened hard bread. They're also not that expensive too either

Just pretend they come with your meals or take some with you.

[Naedmi]

A misfortune cookie would entail more truth to me than a fortune cookie ever would.

At least it's edible. I eat the paper too.