The Best Florida Man News Articles

[RatMonarch]

Hi

Google "florida man". See what the world's worst superhero's up to. Try to find the weirdest/funniest/craziest news articles about him.

[Wet Water]

Originalmente postado por HeartoftheTiger:

Originalmente postado por Wet Water:

I was like "Wat" when I saw that. I actually read the article too. The dude was just eating at olive garden minding his own buisness lmao

Personally, the greater crime that was overlooked is someone actually liking Olive Garden. lol

I personally never had Olive Garden. Is it that bad?

[OOF]

Originalmente postado por Wet Water:

Florida man arrested after calling 911 while hallucinating on meth

Florida man charged with DUI on his lawn mower

Florida man says he's sorry after trying to pawn baby

Florida man accused of torturing child while wearing werewolf mask

Florida Man Fires Gun at Teens Enjoying Community Pool

Florida man says demons took over his body when he beat up pregnant girlfriend

Florida Man Arrested For Having 'I Eat A**' Sticker On His Truck

Dog recovering after Florida man drags him behind truck, deputies say

Florida man accused of beating girlfriend for drinking 'the last of his vodka'

Florida man tells police he's Jason Bourne

A Florida man was attacked and killed by his giant, flightless bird

Florida Man Shows Police His Marijuana Plants, Gets Arrested

Florida man gets prison for smuggling turtles in candy wrappers

Florida man arrested after dining on spaghetti with his bare hands

Some of those are ridiculous.

[Cyrix]

What's next, Florida man discovers gauntlet that could end the univer-

NO!

[Ⓥenom Ⓢnake 🐍]

Florida is the only state in the Union were I will immediately walk away if anything even vaguely feels like it's going to escalate. I don't want some crazy bastard hitting me over the head with a gator.

Oh wait that already happened...

Florida man charged with battery after attacking friend with an alligator.

[Meove]

to know your florida, search florida man and write your birth date.
mine is

Florida man ‘upskirts’ woman at Burlington Walmart leads August 2, 2015 Trentonian Police Blotter

[HeartoftheTiger]

When his rifle fails, man uses machete to kill home intruder http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article88181702.html

Florida man buried his boss in dirt using a front-end loader, police say
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/06/04/florida-man-buried-his-boss-in-dirt-using-a-front-end-loader-police-say/

Florida man accidentally shoots himself, notices two days later
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-florida-gunshot-idUSKCN0Y12CI
(I don't know what kind of pain medication this dude was on, but if it's that powerful, then I want some! Lol)

Assault with a deadly weapon: Florida man charged with throwing alligator into Wendy's
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/02/09/assault-with-a-deadly-weapon-florida-man-charged-with-throwing-live-alligator-into-wendys/
1) "Only in Florida"
2) "transporting of an alligator" is an actual criminal charge. Apparently, this is such a problem that it has to be put in the books. Not "possession or transporting of protective species", no, they had to be very specific! (again, "Only in Florida")
3) Have you ever been so pissed at someone that you threw an frickin' ALLIGATOR at them?!

Florida man chokes wife over lack of fried chicken leftovers: police
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/short-man-chokes-wife-lack-fried-chicken-leftovers-cops-article-1.1941526

Motorist arrested for hit-and-run after her own car calls the police
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/12038125/Cathy-Bernstein-Florida-woman-arrested-after-Ford-911-assist-calls-police.html

Mom arrested after allegedly kidnapping her own daughter to avoid vaccination
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/08/03/anti-vaxxer-mom-arrested-after-allegedly-kidnapping-now-3-year-old-daughter/

Florida Mom Drove Car With Son on Hood: Police | NBC 6 South Florida
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Florida-Mom-Drove-Car-With-Son-on-Hood-Police-300809621.html

Florida Hospital Demands Woman Undergo Forced C-Section
http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2014/07/25/florida-hospital-demands-woman-undergo-forced-c-section/

In Florida, officials ban term climate change | Miami Herald Miami Herald
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article12983720.html

Vigilante arrested for tackling licensed gunowner in Florida Wal-Mart
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/21/vigilante-arrested-for-tackling-licensed-gunowner-/

Florida man accused of offering police officer chicken dinner for sex | News – Home
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-accused-of-offering-police-officer-chicken-dinner-for-sex/29643534

[RatMonarch]

big thank

[SpaceyMatt]

"Florida man stabs couple, eats dead man's face in 'random' attack"

https://www.syracuse.com/us-news/2016/08/florida_zombie_attack_austin_harrouff_flakka.html

[Mr. Megidramon]

Ah florida, never change

[HeartoftheTiger]

Florida man arrested for slapping girlfriend in face with cheeseburger
https://abc30.com/5300145/

[RatMonarch]

Originalmente postado por HeartoftheTiger:

Florida man arrested for slapping girlfriend in face with cheeseburger
https://abc30.com/5300145/

Honestly, what did I expect from America

[HeartoftheTiger]

Originalmente postado por Mrhamsoup:

Originalmente postado por HeartoftheTiger:

Florida man arrested for slapping girlfriend in face with cheeseburger
https://abc30.com/5300145/

Honestly, what did I expect from America

Yeah, if only if this could've happened in Scotland where the man hits his girlfriend with a piece of haggis. rofl

[RatMonarch]

Originalmente postado por HeartoftheTiger:

Originalmente postado por Mrhamsoup:

Honestly, what did I expect from America

Yeah, if only if this could've happened in Scotland where the man hits his girlfriend with a piece of haggis. rofl

Hehehe.... yea.

[HeartoftheTiger]

"Deputy: Woman hit boyfriend with kitchen pot for fishing too much"
https://www.kwqc.com/content/news/Deputy--Woman-hit-boyfriend-with-kitchen-pot-for-fishing-too-much-510032751.html

WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. (KWQC) – A Florida woman is charged with domestic battery after deputies say she struck her baby’s father in the head with a kitchen pot.

Katie Lou Gottlich, 25, of Wesley Chapel, was arrested Wednesday after investigators say she got into an argument with the father of her seven-month-old baby over the father’s spending time fishing instead of helping raise their child.

The father, also identified as the suspect's boyfriend, told Pasco County deputies he and Gottlich began to argue at their residence after he had spent “the past couple of days” fishing.

During the argument, the father said as he was walking in the backyard Gottlich threw a kitchen pot at him when he was not looking, striking him in the head.

Gottlich denies throwing the pot and deputies said they did not see any bruising on the father, but they did find a pot in the backyard where the father said the incident occurred.

The seven-month-old baby was not at the residence at the time, according to the Pasco County Sheriff incident report.

[Speeder]

Naked Florida man performs "strange dance" at McDonald's before "trying to have relations with a railing"