Give Me Some Amputee Jokes

[A Variety of Soaps]

Example: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that's in a bush? Rustle.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that hangs on the wall? Art.
What if he has no tongue? Tastless Art.
What do you call his arms and his legs? Pieces of Art.

EDIT: I originally said FULL amputee, but ♥♥♥♥ it.

[Thop]

It's less of a joke, more of a visual gag. Someone took some "skin restoration" lotion and rubbed it all over their nub, then waited a few seconds and said "Nothing's happening."

[Fragile Waters]

What do you call a baby with no limbs?

A screaming football.

[Daxank]

What's the similarity between dark humor and legs?

Not everyone has it

[Pronoun Paladin ☯]

I was about to berate you sick individuals for joking about amputee's but I realized I have no legs to stand on.

[Vince ✟]

Im an amputee, so ill give you the only one I know. I made it up.


I'm missing most of my left hand but desperately want to learn sign language. Would it be a waste of time trying to learn, or could I get by with abbreviations?

[Aznees]

I can't believe all the abuse that amputees get, they should really stand up for themselves.

[Crystal Sharrd]

Not sure if it counts, but:
A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair.

[chiefputsilao✖️ping]

Originally posted by Variety of Soaps:

Originally posted by DarkCrystalMethod:

I know a few jokes but they're short.

I didn't say they had to be long.

the joke is "the're short" ;)

[Myrmicon]

Sorry, I don't think I am able to.. lend you a Hand.

[RetroSimon]

Man with missing leg buried his lost limb the other day.
The tombstone reads "One foot in the grave"

[Shittus Playus]

I can't think of any, would someone give me an hand?

[Bastila Shan]

What do you call a guy with no arms?

unarmed

[A Variety of Soaps]

Originally posted by chiefputsi✖✖✖ 上 没什么 老挝:

Originally posted by Variety of Soaps:

I didn't say they had to be long.

the joke is "the're short" ;)

Ahh, sorry I didn't get it.

[bearsboi]

I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith

[Noctess]

Originally posted by Omabear:

I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith

What was the name of his other leg?