Give Me Some Amputee Jokes

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A Variety of Soaps 4/dez./2017 às 20:07

Example: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that's in a bush? Rustle.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that hangs on the wall? Art.
What if he has no tongue? Tastless Art.
What do you call his arms and his legs? Pieces of Art.

EDIT: I originally said FULL amputee, but ♥♥♥♥ it.

Última edição por A Variety of Soaps; 4/dez./2017 às 20:19

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Exibindo comentários 16–30 de 31

Thop 4/dez./2017 às 22:11

It's less of a joke, more of a visual gag. Someone took some "skin restoration" lotion and rubbed it all over their nub, then waited a few seconds and said "Nothing's happening."

#16

Fragile Waters 4/dez./2017 às 22:24

What do you call a baby with no limbs?

A screaming football.

#17

Daxank 4/dez./2017 às 22:34

What's the similarity between dark humor and legs?

Not everyone has it

#18

Chunk Norris ☯ 4/dez./2017 às 22:47

I was about to berate you sick individuals for joking about amputee's but I realized I have no legs to stand on.

#19

Vince ✟ 4/dez./2017 às 22:54

Im an amputee, so ill give you the only one I know. I made it up.

I'm missing most of my left hand but desperately want to learn sign language. Would it be a waste of time trying to learn, or could I get by with abbreviations?

Última edição por Vince ✟; 4/dez./2017 às 22:54

#20

Aznees 4/dez./2017 às 23:16

I can't believe all the abuse that amputees get, they should really stand up for themselves.

#21

Crystal Sharrd 4/dez./2017 às 23:19

Not sure if it counts, but:
A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair.

#22

chiefputsilao✖️ping 4/dez./2017 às 23:21

Escrito originalmente por Variety of Soaps:
Escrito originalmente por DarkCrystalMethod:
I know a few jokes but they're short.
I didn't say they had to be long.

the joke is "the're short" ;)

#23

Myrmicon 5/dez./2017 às 1:04

Sorry, I don't think I am able to.. lend you a Hand.

#24

RetroSimon 5/dez./2017 às 1:30

Man with missing leg buried his lost limb the other day.
The tombstone reads "One foot in the grave"

#25

Shittus Playus 5/dez./2017 às 1:32

I can't think of any, would someone give me an hand?

#26

Bastila Shan 5/dez./2017 às 1:35

What do you call a guy with no arms?

unarmed

#27

A Variety of Soaps 5/dez./2017 às 10:46

Escrito originalmente por chiefputsi✖✖✖ 上没什么老挝:
Escrito originalmente por Variety of Soaps:
I didn't say they had to be long.
the joke is "the're short" ;)

Ahh, sorry I didn't get it.

#28