Share your stories here

[fick nogle]

i am 13, and i want to hear your stories related to anything

[fick nogle]

Oprindeligt skrevet af KamiKaze:

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, c0ck throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

this is disgusting

[extraneous]

EVERYONE LISTEN!!! today I would like to tell you my life story so far

ALRIGHT LETS GO!

Once upon a time...

........................

THE END!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED ;)

[Xero_Daxter]

7:00am - Wake Up
8:30am - Go to Work
5:30pm - Go back home
5:30pm - Video Games/Fourms/YouTube
11:00pm - Sleep

Then repeat

[Dominic]

My life is a mixed story to be honest. Full of adventure, romance, heartbreak, cooking, playing video games, working, taking care of dogs, sleeping, traveling to Japan, trying new food, and so on.

But That story is way to long to tell here.

[Lieutenant Tea™]

Oprindeligt skrevet af fick nogle:

i am 13, and i want to hear your stories related to anything

One time I went to a wonderful (or not so wonderful depending on who you ask) place called off-topic. I then posted on a thread called "Share your stories here" while listening to game soundtracks.

The end :3

[Thatbrownmonster]

I was in the antartica cold war
the penguizis were winning but then we froze and lost the cold war
now the nazi penguins rule over our great country

[KitaQman]

Oprindeligt skrevet af Thatbrownmonster:

I was in the antartica cold war
the penguizis were winning but then we froze and lost the cold war
now the nazi penguins rule over our great country

And then club penguin was shutdown

[extraneous]

Oprindeligt skrevet af Garba-joe:

Oprindeligt skrevet af Thatbrownmonster:

I was in the antartica cold war
the penguizis were winning but then we froze and lost the cold war
now the nazi penguins rule over our great country

And then club penguin was shutdown

I miss club penguin... It was fun to troll people on jt

[KitaQman]

Oprindeligt skrevet af MYMEMESAREDUMBANDDRY!!!:

Oprindeligt skrevet af Garba-joe:

And then club penguin was shutdown

I miss club penguin... It was fun to troll people on jt

Club penguin rewritten exists

[Dominic]

Oprindeligt skrevet af MYMEMESAREDUMBANDDRY!!!:

Oprindeligt skrevet af Garba-joe:

And then club penguin was shutdown

I miss club penguin... It was fun to troll people on jt

I miss old Runescape 2009-2011, Battle Field Heroes, Old 2010-2011 Team Fortress 2, SRB2 on servers online, Wolfenstien Enemy Territory and so on.

[Deus Pedro]

Oprindeligt skrevet af 1 share = 1 prayer:

I went back in time and created Hitler accidentally

He created my grandfather

[Rio]

Well OP today I found out theres a free game called "Ultrastar". Its a karaokie program that supports tons of songs and actually judges your ability to sing them.

I downloaded it and went to the cabinet to get my stand up microphone, but ALAS the cord for it was missing. I've yet to pull myself away long enough to find it.

Will I find the cord? Can I sing the chord? Find out next time on To be an Ultra Star...Pony.

[Birdy.J]

I once saw a homeless man masturbate in front of an old lady at bus stop.

[Sirens]

my base of operations is located in taiwan, where i have plans on invading the PRC, restoring the ROC, and liberating tibet.

[fick nogle]

Oprindeligt skrevet af Thatbrownmonster:

I was in the antartica cold war
the penguizis were winning but then we froze and lost the cold war
now the nazi penguins rule over our great country

i knew there was something suspicouse about that penguin wearing a dictators hat i saw!!!