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2nd: The bad temperament horses in Zelda BOTW
3rd: The horses from Rust, gotta feed them so they don't die, so lame
I can't even remember the games but one's where the horse can't move, carry stuff, or do anything would be "the worst" for me.
Bastard keeps throwing you off if there's an enemy in a different zip code, gets out of breath if you gallop for two seconds and has enough carrying capacity to fit a fun-sized snickers.
Online horse is terrible but much better than SP.l