Is my Character a Mary Sue? (Gary Stu?)

[♡♥♡Wei♡♥♡]

I've made this character, Andre for a comic I'm writing, but I'd like some thoughts from other people whether this character is a Gary Stu or not. this a quite a long read, but I do ask you to read all of it, because there are somethings that need explaining, and sorry if there are any spelling or grammar errors.

Character's Apperence: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=863899740&fileuploadsuccess=1
Sorry, still pretty novice when it comes to art and drawing.

Andre Nagol Bio:

Gender: Male
Age: 14
Nationality: Asian-American
Race: Human/Motor Vehicle (No, Seriously)
Class: Lower Middle (Formerly Upper)
Magic: None
Occupation: Bartender
Birthday: 29/1/1972-2
Height: 5'9”
Blood Type: B+ (Or Kerosene for Right side of body)
Alignment: Neutral
Authority Status: Neutral/Suspicious
Criminal Status: Very Bad




Character Pros:
Right Arm and Right Eye are Copper and Tin
Trustworthy (When you get to know him)
Friendly
An good shot
An alright Mechanic

Character Flaws:
A bit Sluggish when his Right arm is attached (Due to how heavy it is)
Cannot see out of his Right eye
Right arm needs kerosene to work
A somewhat lack of remorse under certain circumstances
Not very hopeful
Not very strong
Depressed

Character Backstory:
Andre grew up not knowing his parents, I know, I know. Generic backstory, but Andre is not
on a quest to find his parents, he really couldn't care less about them.
He grew up in New York, a wealthy man adopted him off the streets, only days after birth.
The man loved Andre, took him in and raised him like his own, spoiled him, cared for him.
The man owned a bar, in a poor town in Boston, the man had a heart of gold, he would sometimes let the homeless have a drink on the house.
Andre and the man would travel all around America, Boston, Seattle, Las Vegas, ect
but Andre decided that Boston was his favorite, because the bar was there.
But, one day when Andre turned 9, on the way to a party joint, they were in a car crash, the crash killed the man, and left Andre with a crushed right arm, and burned the right side of his face, rendering the right eye blind, and the arm unusable.
When Andre turned 12, he looked unrecognizable as a human, he got pushed around by other kids and adults, he found out that his father's bar was closing down, he would miss the place, he didn't want to let go, so he made the terrible mistake of borrowing money from the Mafia, he bought the Bar, and also paid for surgery for a mechanical arm.
He was not a registered human however, he lied about his age to get the bar, he said he was 20, he looked 20, and it was hard to tell, because of all the scars on his face from the burns, and his voice was quite deep for his age.
So he used the majority of the money he borrowed to buy the bar.
After owning the bar for about a week, he realized that his scared face was scaring away customers, and the fact that the fuel orifice for his arm had to be put in his eye socket, so with the rest of his money, he went bought a copper plate for his eye, with black tinted glass window, resembling an eye.
2 years of owning the bar, he now claims his age is 22, but really, he's 14.
He tries not to let the death of his adoptive father bother him, but he just thinks to himself “I did have a pretty good childhood, I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth, lucky I wasn't killed, rich people aren't very liked around here.”
And not knowing his birth parents? He just doesn't care.
And thinking back on his adoptive father, he always wore a dark purple suit, so in memory of his adoptive father, he'll dye the tip of his hair the same shade of purple every once in awhile.

This next part is just about the world that this character is in, you don't have to read this part, but it might answer some questions you have about this bio.

Story of Universe:

After the World as we know it ended, cause of which was pollution, the Christian God wanted to give humans another chance, so he reset the world, every year being followed by a -2, (e.g. 1999-2) he left his new creation to evolve, and make itself, he returned and realized the place was a trainwreck, worst than the original, pollution was horrid, way worse than before.
He then decided to make a new species and a knew world and abandon the Human world.
But he did not want to make the humans suffer too much, he asked other gods from other regions to watch over the human world, such as Buddha, Allah, Zeus, The Devil Himself and many others to watch over it, and make sure it doesn't become too much of a trainwreck, the other gods agreed for the time being and stayed on, what we'll call, “Earth 2” for reference.
Some of the gods roam Earth 2, disguised as humans to study on where the Christian God might have gone wrong.

Basically, it's a mostly worse version of Earth right now, we've advanced in certain things, such as energy, mining and most of all, Warfare.
There have been a total of 4 World Wars.
Pollution is so bad that the sky is no longer a bright blue, but a brown, sickly color.
And where the story is now, people are only now, working on being more efficient in energy, being more green friendly, in this time of piece, there doesn't seem to be any signs of a WW5 happening anytime soon.


Things we've advanced in:
Nucular Energy
Motor Vehicles (Speed and Endurance wise)
Human enhancements
Drugs (Good and Bad)

Things we're behind in:
Weaponry (Even though we had a lot of wars, that also means there was no time to study and make more efficient firearms, and other munitions, firearms right now are stuck in the Earth 1's WW1 and 2 Stages)
Tech and Computers
Telephones (Communication is still done through traditional letters or radio)
Laws (They're pretty bad, and the cops are basically as bad as the crims at this point)
Anti-Septic (they do have basic anti-septic, but you're still taking a risk by getting surgery or similar)
Motor Vehicles (Efficiency and Gas mileage wise)

That's all for now, I look forward to seeing your opinions, and I am open to critisim. And again, sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes.

[Mr. Shaggnificent]

What does Mary Sue/Gary Stu mean?

[76109108007942031]

Първоначално публикувано от Mr. Shaggnificent:

What does Mary Sue/Gary Stu mean?

Basically a character that's too perfect.

[♡♥♡Wei♡♥♡]

Първоначално публикувано от Mr. Shaggnificent:

What does Mary Sue/Gary Stu mean?

A Mary Sue/Gary Stu is a character that is perfect or almost perfect in everyway, or is overpowered in one way or another. Just search for Sonic OCs on Deviant Art, you'll see a lot of them.

[Smugass Braixen-Chan]

As somebody who's character gets called a Mary Sue for being black, I think this whole Mary Sue crap is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

[iLuvKoЯn]

Първоначално публикувано от Insanity Wolf-Chan:

As somebody who's character gets called a Mary Sue for being black, I think this whole Mary Sue crap is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

what OC?

[♡♥♡Wei♡♥♡]

Първоначално публикувано от Insanity Wolf-Chan:

As somebody who's character gets called a Mary Sue for being black, I think this whole Mary Sue crap is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

That's a bit crap, just cause your OC is of a black color doesn't mean it's a Mary Sue. I think I saw a picture on deviant art, of a rainbow OC (Can't remember if it was a Sonic OC or MLP OC) and the art (no offense to the creator) was pretty bad, but the backstory seemed to be very good, and story wise it was a good OC. So yeah, an OC's appearence doesn't make or break a Mary Sue

[Smugass Braixen-Chan]

She's a black unicorn. She's black because I had a horse that was (gasp and shock horror) black with a cute little white star on her fore-head. The red in her hair was taken from another character I made many years earlier who wore a red trench-coat.

People just see the black coat and the red stripe in her mane and immediately accuse me of making an edgy OC with a dark and tragic backstory.

They never get to the part where she grew up in a palace in the middle of a winter wonderland. Her parents and 11 siblings are alive and well. And she's currently living in the fantasy equivalent of Hawaii.

[iLuvKoЯn]

Първоначално публикувано от Insanity Wolf-Chan:

She's a black unicorn. She's black because I had a horse that was (gasp and shock horror) black with a cute little white star on her fore-head. The red in her hair was taken from another character I made many years earlier who wore a red trench-coat.

People just see the black coat and the red stripe in her mane and immediately accuse me of making an edgy OC with a dark and tragic backstory.

They never get to the part where she grew up in a palace in the middle of a winter wonderland. Her parents and 11 siblings are alive and well. And she's currently living in the fantasy equivalent of Hawaii.

oh I thought you meant that she was black like black people?

Do you have a picture of it?

[Smugass Braixen-Chan]

Well most people have pony OCs who's pelt is based on their IRL skin color. So if I WAS black, I would be denied that privilege as well.

Unfortunately I never did get around to getting a commission to draw her. But I want to get one for her daughter, who is more interesting looking.

---

The hilarious part is that I have a pegasus OC who lives in the Everfree Forest and her right eye is bloodshot and occasionally weeps blood due to the dark magic she's consumed over the years: To the point where she can use magic despite being a pegasus. But she's totally not dark or edgy because she's white.

[OneRoguishMuffin]

Oh how quickly the conversation turned to talk about someone else's original character rather than your own, OP. Oh well. I'll change that!

Andre doesn't seem to be a generic Mary Sue character. My main reasoning for this is that he's hindered by his motor vehicle half. Kerosene can't be easy to come by and, as you said, that arm is wicked heavy for a human body to carry around. That and he's living in what appears to be a dystopian, downgraded equivalent of Earth.

However, with that said, he seems a little too weak. He needs to deal with his motor vehicle half, he's got it in with the mafia, he's running a bar at a young age, etc... and he's only a decent shot and an okay mechanic? I have to question his trustworthiness too, considering his criminal status is "very bad". Is his criminal status only because of his involvement with the mafia or something else? If it's just because of the mafia then I can see him being somewhat trusthworthy; if it's because of the mafia and some other crime, he's definitely not the type of guy you'd want to trust with your life/secrets.

Maybe his right arm does something special in life-threatening situations? Or he becomes friends with people in his bar that will go to the ends of the Earth to help him? He doesn't need a bunch of perks, just something to spice him up a little bit and make him even more different from other characters.

Speaking of other characters, I like what you've got going with gods watching over the Earth 2 to see where the Christian God went wrong. I only have one issue with the other gods: Based on my understanding of Islam (I don't follow it, I just know of it), "Allahu Akbar" is not their god. Their god is Allah. "Allahu Akbar" is a saying that means "God is great" or something similar. I think that'd be good to keep in mind if you include Allah in the story.

That's about all I have for you. I will say that I've never really critiqued a character before. I don't get into roleplay, original characters, comics, etc. that much. My opinion was mainly based on the characters I've encountered in the reading of sci-fi and dystopian novels.

[♡♥♡Wei♡♥♡]

Първоначално публикувано от Koro-sensei:

Oh how quickly the conversation turned to talk about someone else's original character rather than your own, OP. Oh well. I'll change that!

Andre doesn't seem to be a generic Mary Sue character. My main reasoning for this is that he's hindered by his motor vehicle half. Kerosene can't be easy to come by and, as you said, that arm is wicked heavy for a human body to carry around. That and he's living in what appears to be a dystopian, downgraded equivalent of Earth.

However, with that said, he seems a little too weak. He needs to deal with his motor vehicle half, he's got it in with the mafia, he's running a bar at a young age, etc... and he's only a decent shot and an okay mechanic? I have to question his trustworthiness too, considering his criminal status is "very bad". Is his criminal status only because of his involvement with the mafia or something else? If it's just because of the mafia then I can see him being somewhat trusthworthy; if it's because of the mafia and some other crime, he's definitely not the type of guy you'd want to trust with your life/secrets.

Maybe his right arm does something special in life-threatening situations? Or he becomes friends with people in his bar that will go to the ends of the Earth to help him? He doesn't need a bunch of perks, just something to spice him up a little bit and make him even more different from other characters.

Speaking of other characters, I like what you've got going with gods watching over the Earth 2 to see where the Christian God went wrong. I only have one issue with the other gods: Based on my understanding of Islam (I don't follow it, I just know of it), "Allahu Akbar" is not their god. Their god is Allah. "Allahu Akbar" is a saying that means "God is great" or something similar. I think that'd be good to keep in mind if you include Allah in the story.

That's about all I have for you. I will say that I've never really critiqued a character before. I don't get into roleplay, original characters, comics, etc. that much. My opinion was mainly based on the characters I've encountered in the reading of sci-fi and dystopian novels.

Wow, Thank you, I didn't realize the covo was getting so off topic. And thank you for informing me about Allah, I probably should have done my research on that. And yes, the criminal status is very bad, I made the Authority Status for what the Police's impression on him is, and the Criminal Status for what criminals think of him, so the basicly Mafia doesn't like him too much, and the authorities are a bit sus about him cause he's not a registered citizen.

But anyway, thank you so much for your opinion, +1 rep
if I do make this comic I will put you in the special thanks section.

If anyone else has any input on my OC please tell me :3

[Zubenelgenubi]

Първоначално публикувано от LogaNiceGamer:

Първоначално публикувано от Mr. Shaggnificent:

What does Mary Sue/Gary Stu mean?

A Mary Sue/Gary Stu is a character that is perfect or almost perfect in everyway, or is overpowered in one way or another.

Not just that. It's when people insert themselves into a story to live out their fantasies.

[♡♥♡Wei♡♥♡]

Първоначално публикувано от Zubenelgenubi:

Първоначално публикувано от LogaNiceGamer:

A Mary Sue/Gary Stu is a character that is perfect or almost perfect in everyway, or is overpowered in one way or another.

Not just that. It's when people insert themselves into a story to live out their fantasies.

The definitions I heard was, when the Character is so liked or overpowered they aren't challenged by anything, or when the author identifies with that character so much that the story is warped by it.

[※Tapu Lele※]

Pretty interesting of a character and story.

[smoka-cola]

i usually dont say this but the premise seems interesting tbh

but how does the right side of his body use kerosene and the left use blood when its in a circulatory system
wouldn't they mix together