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Any server near me was slow as dirt. Nearest does not always equal faster.
https://support.steampowered.com/kb_article.php?ref=9498-WPDF-3220
Today, Rio was better for me. Yesterday, Sweden was better. Btw... I'm on the East Coast.
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Troubleshooting Network Connectivity
I already wanted to write that this doesn't work, but I figured why not try one last time with a very exotic server. So I chose East Africa and...voila, it works. Deus Ex now downloads with max speed. Super weird, but thanks for all the replies.