'Twas the Night Before Christma, Steam Style

[TheKbob]

I post this every year for new folks to enjoy:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Steam
Every Gamer was stirring, their eyes all a gleam;
The PCs were all primed by the desk with care,
In hopes that ‘Ol Gabe Newell would soon be there;

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/464/879/a73.jpg

The fanboys and trolls were all milling about,
‘DRM!’ and things they would proclaim and shout;
And the girlfriends did laugh ‘what utter bullcrap’,
Went to settled down for a long winter’s nap,

When on the desktop did my tracker loud wail,
I sprang to the chair to see the grand new sale
Away I sent windows, I moused in a flash,
Tore open my wallet and drew out my cash;

The sales on the games, new prices did they now show,
Under my budget, I thought, they must be below ;
When, what to my eyes did happen in a flash,
The screen went blank, did my computer just crash?

With nasty old drivers, so plodding and slow,
I knew just now, NVIDIA must I go;
But faster than a blink an image had came,
A movie had started, proclaiming my name!

“Now good sir, please do stay awhile and listen,
On your wish list, the new games, they do glisten!”
“Scroll to the top and see”, it said with a ‘lol’~!
“MYGOODNESS!”I exclaimed, I had got them all!

I leapt from my desk jumping high from the floor,
Dancing around my office, laughing and more!
For in just a small while, there would soon be proof,
“I must focus now!” I stated still aloof;

As I stared at the screen, a face did appear,
Gabe Newell! Just the man did I want to hear;
A bundle of games he crammed into my list,
So happy I was, his face I could have kissed!

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in bow,
And even his glasses did sparkle and glow,

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He presents me a copy of Left 4 Dead.

But the image did fade, from my desk I rose,
Paper stuck to my face, a pen in my nose;
I opened my list and to much of my shame,
Nothing new had been given, not a single game;

It seemed as if it had all been but a dream ,
I guess I had spent too much time here on Steam;
Hitting F5, I’ll say with merry delight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”



Have a good Christmas and enjoy the sales!

[DarkCrystalMethod]

Cleverly done.