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This is not how that works. At all.
If someone in the family buys a new game it becomes available for everyone in the family and just shows up in their library.
There is no "validating" by the family leader or similar going on.
Oh, damn, my familly account must work differently from the others, or maybe you're one of those people who doesn't know what you're talking about.
I have 3 Steam families (different accounts), two as creator, one as a member.
So far every game i bought or that someone else bought showed up at once for every member of the family right after purchase.
Maybe it has something to do with parental control settings, all my families only have "adult" members.