Can't Stand Losing

[JLP8000]

Well, throughout my life, I like to play games. And whenever I lose, I get disappointed. When that happens, I get emotional, mostly I get angry when I lose. Every time I mess up with many games, especially in MOBAs, I get mocked and picked on and get insulted. I absolutely can't stand that.

If there's too much of this for me to handle, I tend to lose it. And by 'it', I mean I lose control with my emotions. I screamed, threw a fit, and go on a rampage, knocking out everything in my path. And it's not just whenever I lose a game, it's practically all the time. I flip out on every little thing. No joke. I even had a huge nightmare about losing so much. My hatred of losing made me feel bitter, and when I had too much anger and rage on me, I became a rage-o-holic beast!

Whenever I get a big losing streak, I've been searching in the game forums, seeking to get help on how to win more, but it didn't come often. I became very impatient and issuing some "threats" to make them talk. But when I do get help, I'd had a hard time following on what I'm supposed to do, and many tips seemed cliched, so I choose not to follow some of them. I was skeptical, yes, that's true, that's because I need some actual proof of how some ideas actually worked.

Also, I became selfish and very stubborn, and my impatience grew bigger and bigger, and when my patience has COMPLETELY ran out, I became as mad as The Incredible Hulk, maybe 10 times as mad. And I put so many comments on the game forums, on a few groups on Facebook, even on Reddit, I was typing lots and lots and LOTS of curse words, cussing them out, and they mostly insult me back, and that made me madder. In fact, I became SO mental, I would even made the Hulk feel like a teddy bear. Anyway, I get into a MASSIVE fit, and when that happens, something... breaks. I broke some walls, I broke some bowls, and I even broke the door.

And that's not the worst part! The worst part is... when someone calls me names that they can't take back, I went into a MAJOR meltdown. I typed the most offensive thing I could think of to them, and they kicked me out for my uncontrollable behavior. I got kicked out in a few clans in SMITE, I got kicked out from a few Facebook groups, and I got permabanned in the League Of Legends forum boards.

Like I said, I don't just flip out of my gaming performance, I get flipped out in just about everything. One time, when I wanted to get something to eat, and someone got the last of it, I rage out. That got me in a bad mood that lasted all day. And, I keep flipping out at every little thing, and I kept at it. I didn't know I went too far with my emotions until my mom pointed it out. And when that happens, I know I went too far. And that's what broke me, not physically, but emotionally. I broke down and cried my eyes out.

The point is, I'm in my 20s and I'm autistic. That's right. I have autism, and when things don't go my way, I lose my temper most of the time, and then I get depressed most of the time. I even thought about committing suicide sometimes. And, I wanted to reach my goal, but it takes too long to accomplish that. Story of my life.

Anyway, I hope I didn't waste any of your time reading all of this, but that's when I've been going on for practically most of my life.

[tmwfte]

Stop playing games.

[PandaChu]

Seems like me. but the only difference between you and me is i dont really putting that emotion in real life. Its like what happend on the game is just happend only on the game. I get mad my team mate is noob the game scenario is pretty fck up i always lose. well its part of the game thats pretty bad bro you're getting affected too much by a game maybe try to hangout sometime by your friends or try to deep breath and calm ur t1tz for a bit if you're losing control yeah thats happend to me always when i play dota but after the game well yeah i lose and MOVED ON for the next match. you need play some games with friends well if u need someone to talk feel free to ADD ME. dont forget to wrote on my wall coz i cant see it so many request pilling up. well then have a good day dont forget to stay calm and MOVE ON WE PLAY GAMES TO HAVE FUN NOT TO RAGE AND DESTROY OUR DAY AND MOOD

[Dagnabbit]

www.blogger.com

[Mivo]

What you describe goes beyond getting angry about losing in a video game. Since your life seems strongly impacted by it, looking for professional help (and medication) may be a good course of action. No shame in that, it's the responsible thing to do and a necessary step in order to get better and have a happier life. Your decision, though, you're an adult.

[Spanky]

That's too bad. Your gonna need meds. how about some pot?

[Quint the Alligator Snapper]

Whenever you find yourself getting angry at something, try asking yourself, ïs this really worth getting angry over?".

Give yourself time for a breather. Step away for a moment. Basically, just go get a drink of water. Don't let yourself skip out on any of the motions. Make sure you get a cup, make sure you fill it with water, make sure you drink all of it. Straighten your head out and make sure you're not just running off on the anger, out of control.

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by tmwfte:

Stop playing games.

Why should I stop playing games?

[Albcatmastercat]

Originally posted by JLP8000:

Originally posted by tmwfte:

Stop playing games.

Why should I stop playing games?

Because it's not being good for your health at all.

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by S-GOD:

Seems like me. but the only difference between you and me is i dont really putting that emotion in real life. Its like what happend on the game is just happend only on the game. I get mad my team mate is noob the game scenario is pretty fck up i always lose. well its part of the game thats pretty bad bro you're getting affected too much by a game maybe try to hangout sometime by your friends or try to deep breath and calm ur t1tz for a bit if you're losing control yeah thats happend to me always when i play dota but after the game well yeah i lose and MOVED ON for the next match. you need play some games with friends well if u need someone to talk feel free to ADD ME. dont forget to wrote on my wall coz i cant see it so many request pilling up. well then have a good day dont forget to stay calm and MOVE ON WE PLAY GAMES TO HAVE FUN NOT TO RAGE AND DESTROY OUR DAY AND MOOD

the thing is I don't have friends. Online friends, maybe. But, I don't have a real friend. I'm more a loner.

[Albcatmastercat]

Originally posted by JLP8000:

Originally posted by S-GOD:

Seems like me. but the only difference between you and me is i dont really putting that emotion in real life. Its like what happend on the game is just happend only on the game. I get mad my team mate is noob the game scenario is pretty fck up i always lose. well its part of the game thats pretty bad bro you're getting affected too much by a game maybe try to hangout sometime by your friends or try to deep breath and calm ur t1tz for a bit if you're losing control yeah thats happend to me always when i play dota but after the game well yeah i lose and MOVED ON for the next match. you need play some games with friends well if u need someone to talk feel free to ADD ME. dont forget to wrote on my wall coz i cant see it so many request pilling up. well then have a good day dont forget to stay calm and MOVE ON WE PLAY GAMES TO HAVE FUN NOT TO RAGE AND DESTROY OUR DAY AND MOOD

the thing is I don't have friends. Online friends, maybe. But, I don't have a real friend. I'm more a loner.

Watching a movie seems to have the same effect.

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by Dagnabbit:

www.blogger.com

why this link?

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by Mivo:

What you describe goes beyond getting angry about losing in a video game. Since your life seems strongly impacted by it, looking for professional help (and medication) may be a good course of action. No shame in that, it's the responsible thing to do and a necessary step in order to get better and have a happier life. Your decision, though, you're an adult.

what do you mean professional help and/or medication?

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by SquirrlyNuts:

That's too bad. Your gonna need meds. how about some pot?

Nah, I don't do pot.

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by Albcatmastercat:

Originally posted by JLP8000:

Why should I stop playing games?

Because it's not being good for your health at all.

Not good for my health? Why?

[JLP8000]

Originally posted by Albcatmastercat:

Originally posted by JLP8000:

the thing is I don't have friends. Online friends, maybe. But, I don't have a real friend. I'm more a loner.

Watching a movie seems to have the same effect.

What effect?