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1) DELETE all GFWL content. Uninstall it AND manually delete its directories in Users\
USER\AppData and Main Drive\ProgramData.
These two directories are normally hidden in Windows. If you don't see them, you need to go to "Folder Options" to change this.
2) Used CCleaner to clean the registry of all GFWL registry entries.
3) Rebooted, just to be safe.
4) Installed the newest GFWL Clinet fresh. If I try to run it directly as an .exe, it yells at me about WindowsLive ID...but this doesn't matter. Just install it fresh.
5) Changed my WindowsLiveID password. MS ported all GFWL profiles to WindowsLiveID.
6) Pretended GFWL still existed. As in, I ran Bulletstorm and behaved as though GFWL was still around - I entered the product code, all that.
7) GFWL will then download an update for itself THROUGH Bulletstorm. After this, exit Bulletstorm.
8) Run Bulletstorm again. This time, you'll have to accept new a new "Terms Agreement". GFWL might hang a minute. Wait, and click ACCEPT.
Now it works for me.
I'm also posting all of this on any GFWL-related threads because what really messed with me is that the GFWL DRM is still going, just none of the multiplayer servers or achievements.