Funniest moments?

[Slippery Williams]

Just wanna hear some amusing stuff that happened while you played

- Headed to the murder suspect's place of work to arrest them, saw them outside their office and beat up and handcuffed them, only to find out they were the janitor who looked nearly identical in their headshot. I realised what I did then went into the office, asked for a tour then arrested the actual suspect.

I still feel bad when I go into that building and see the janitor doing their job.


- Broke down the door of a murder report and arrested the first person I saw. The actual first responders came in and shot me, so I scrambled out and crawled into an air vent to escape. My statuses in that vent before I passed out and was dragged to the medical ward were thirsty, bleeding, broken leg and stinky. Also it turned out I'd arrested the partner of the victim so whoops

- i found a stolen 10k bottle of wine and dropped and smashed it

- Also I saw my own name irl in the directory of the city im playing in so I'm gonna have to pay them a visit some time and see what's going on there. Really hoping 'I' don't get involved in any murdering

[Vanessa]

Murder in the lobby of an industrial building. Enforcers come and lock it down while like six citizens are still milling about. NPCs can't cross a taped door, period, so they are all stuck running in place on the door.

Well, I come and trying to investigate with that many NPCs around is obviously pretty difficult. The alarm gets raised and the enforcer inside decide that it's the citizens at fault and shoots them all. Once they get up they're all running around in a tiny little pack in front of the door screaming "Sound the alarm!" and "Don't hurt me!" while enforcers repeatedly gun down the immortal berks.

Also the murder victim is underneath their feet the whole time so I have just... no possible way of actually investigating the cadaver.

[Sky Wizard]

I'm investigating a stalker murder, pretty sure I got the perp's first name. I'm right next to city hall so I decide to drop in there to check the Gov database.

There's a nurse using the cruncher, no problem. Excuse me darling, let me just slip in here real quick. Ah, jackpot! full name, prints and job title. Head nurse huh. say, the mug shot looks real familiar ... *turns to look nurse who's lap I'm sitting in's face. It's her!*

[Ahoge-dono]

Was doing two side jobs, both corporate theft. Essentially discovered that the clients wanted to target each other. While one was polite enough to let me into their apartment and helpful with their information, the other was stubborn, so I kicked the door in his face stole his brown envelope, closed his door and deliver the one he wanted from the other client.

Another time I was responding to a new murder case. I was excited that it was a stalker killer, and all the info was unknown to me, so I could have fun doing the foot work to discover the killer. Scanned the lipstick and got fingerprint BY. Went straight to the neighbor to ask if they've seen anything, and to be thorough scanned their fingerprints on the door -- BY. ... Oh. Case Closed.

[Isabelle]

Originally posted by Ahoge-dono:

Was doing two side jobs, both corporate theft. Essentially discovered that the clients wanted to target each other. While one was polite enough to let me into their apartment and helpful with their information, the other was stubborn, so I kicked the door in his face stole his brown envelope, closed his door and deliver the one he wanted from the other client.

Another time I was responding to a new murder case. I was excited that it was a stalker killer, and all the info was unknown to me, so I could have fun doing the foot work to discover the killer. Scanned the lipstick and got fingerprint BY. Went straight to the neighbor to ask if they've seen anything, and to be thorough scanned their fingerprints on the door -- BY. ... Oh. Case Closed.

what a waste of a good stalker case... i just get corpo killers over and over.

[Saint of Grey]

There was a murder, in an office, by the receptionist. Enforcers get there, and tape the place off, but she keeps working, despite the fact the office is now off limits. So they shoot her (and I was able to finally get her prints and piece the case together while she was down). However, this was on a floor with a toxic gas dispenser, so when someone pulled the alarm after seeing the body it caused gas to release. Then every time an NPC took damage from breathing the toxic gas, they would freak out and run to pull the alarm, which would activate more toxic gas.

This went on until everyone on the floor was unconscious.

[DrUwU]

I had to arrest a suspect as a side quest and all I had was the persons picture, no name and no other information. First play through still new to the game, kinda walking around like a headless chicken. I had asked 3 rando's and they all refused to talk to me or didn't know nothing. I kid you not on my fourth person they were like: "Yes, I do know them, there name is blah blah blah, they love sports, they have a temper, they are my partner, they live at 407 Gomez house, they are a shopkeeper, they work at blah blah blah. I followed her home and just waited for the guy to come home and arrested him

[Stim The One]

Let's see:

First time I tried something that tvtropes recommended: Barge a door that's unlocked and with a person you want knocked out on the other side. Person sent flying and ragdolling to the floor, cuff them while laughing.

Was on a side job where I was looking for a person, had their photo, showed it around where people said they knew it. Enter building, knock on door number one... no answer... door number two "oh, that's X", great, just need to find a city directory to know where they live. Barge the door for door number one since nobody is home and.... dead body. New murder case pops up as I stumble upon it. Literally right in front of the door.

Playing around with security settings in a residential building, decided to set it to trip for "anyone that's not the player". I somehow assumed it would only happen for that floor. Cue the alarm ringing and EVERYONE that's not me being shot by miniguns in the building... again, and again, and again... until I make my way to a breaker box to reset it.

And often it's the hilarious obfuscation of those who give side jobs. Yeah, the leads for the target are in this briefcase... follow leads and it's their NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. BRUH, YOU COULD HAVE SAID YOU KNOW THE GUY BECAUSE THEY LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

[Pwincess]

NPC is sleeping. Their partner comes in and turns on the light, then sits down to get undressed/ go to bed. The first NPC wakes up, turns off the light, and heads for bed. Partner stands up and turns it back on. Rinse and repeat.

[Kakroom]

I was on a case that had gone cold. I had already wrongly accused one of my victim's spouses (I guess she was just the kind of person who happened to keep a skull on her counter and they were the kind of couple who just happened to keep a weapon in the exact caliber her wife was killed with on their kitchen counter.) Another woman was dead, this time in the echelons. I had no fingerprints, no shoe size, the killer's profile hadn't even been recorded on CCTV. A camera pointed directly at their lobby door and all it had caught was the victim's husband, Tomas, coming home that night. Nobody else.

"He just lives there," I said. "There's no way I would be so unlucky that after falsely accusing one partner, the SECOND partner would be the murderer of both his wife and some other person."

I comb through the second crime scene, room 1801, again and again, looking for something, anything that I'd missed. At my wit's end, I left their room for their night. Some guy passed me, went up to room 1803, unlocked the door, pulled out a gun, and started shooting.

A few moments after this, the enforcer guarding the scene rushed inside, following the gunshots. This was at 2200, so the family's lights were off and everyone was in their pajamas. All I could see from the doorway were muzzle flashes and shadowy bodies. I pulled out my truncheon, went inside, and beat everybody unconscious. Two people had guns: the enforcer, and the strange man. His wallet identified him as Tomas.

That was pretty funny

[KEEM🍿]

I was going through an entire apartment building just begging for guest passes so I could go into peoples homes and steal lockpicks (so i could break into a business on a completely different floor) and found out that you can eat raw meat and get sick from it after taking some out of a dude's fridge when I got the notification that I was hungry and just ate it without thought in the middle of the dudes kitchen

[Slippery Williams]

Originally posted by Pwincess:

NPC is sleeping. Their partner comes in and turns on the light, then sits down to get undressed/ go to bed. The first NPC wakes up, turns off the light, and heads for bed. Partner stands up and turns it back on. Rinse and repeat.

Let us know if one of them ends up murdering the other

[Nam McSpazz]

I was doing my first ritual killer case, and it took me embarrassingly long to figure out the killer's name. Once I finally got it, I pull their address and go to arrest them, but they aren't there. I realize I never pinned the murder weapon in the apartment, so I head back. On a whim, I chat with the enforcer guarding the door, and ask their name. Turns out they were killer, guarding their own crime scene.

[Kakroom]

Originally posted by Nam McSpazz:

I was doing my first ritual killer case, and it took me embarrassingly long to figure out the killer's name. Once I finally got it, I pull their address and go to arrest them, but they aren't there. I realize I never pinned the murder weapon in the apartment, so I head back. On a whim, I chat with the enforcer guarding the door, and ask their name. Turns out they were killer, guarding their own crime scene.

"Hey Frank, I have to find myself"

[Greenie /Taxibutler]

I once went up to a black market in the back of a diner or something and put in the wrong password a few times and I guess the guy was too fed up with me and decided to just start walking directly diagonal upwards into a skyscraper on the other side of the street. Just like, flying into some random guys window. Then I tried knocking again and some other guy answered and then followed the other guy into the air.

I was once following a guy who got an envelope from someone else and they walked through a restricted industrial area and got absolutely blasted by like three employees and every turret on the premises after trying to just walk through the middle of the room to pass through.

Going to the workplace to find an envelope, I found one and threw it in the ocean but it turns out that was just an extra one sitting around and not the one I needed...

If you have never barged into a door while someone is opening it, then you've never lived. I once did it and the guy on the other side just flied a few feet backwards onto the floor. I can definitely imagine someone getting knocked off the railings straight down like three floors if you find a good spot lol.