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Game is up to date. Drivers up to date. All the usual bells and whistles. Verified files. Reinstalled the game. I press play. The splash screens come up. I press space on the "press any key" screen, the loading icon turns a tiny bit then the game immediately stops responding. Cannot play.
Edit: I had to wipe absolutely every single piece of data from this game off my machine. Including files in AppData. Not only that I had to reboot my pc and now it loaded in.