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LET. IT. DIE. IN. A. FIRE.
I do not do gore and the rest of it was (almost) pretty much the same thing as the fnaf games. But the story within it was good
4/10
Can't wait for the FNaF movie (being less gorey)
Spoiler alert, and the biggest ones are under the cuts.
First, the FNaF similarities. The DVD box and plot synopsis make it blatantly clear this is a movie about a four-piece animatronic band that goes haywire and sets off on a killing spree, so there ya go.
Two theories on how this came about, since WB was originally slated to film the FNaF movie:
1) Someone got salty over the switch to Blumhouse and vowed to make a "killer animatronic" movie anyway, cashing in on WB's purchase of Hanna-Barbera's old shows.
2) Someone got scared after the switch to Blumhouse and filmed this to prove to the execs that "the killer animatronic schtick would've been pure schlock anyway." (The direct-to-DVD format sorta supports this; they felt it would be a box-office bomb.)
...Either way, we oughtta be glad the FNaF movie's in better hands at Blumhouse, and although there's no real pride in being "better than bad," this set the baseline quite low and Scott could write the FNaF movie script blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back and it would still be better than this.
So the movie begins with 9yo Harley, the Splits's biggest fan. He has the plushies and fanart in his bedroom, and is an imaginative kid who loves fantasy weapons and wearing fairy wings. He doesn't have many friends, but his 19yo half-brother Austin is his ally and defender, and when he gets tickets to the Splits's live taping for his birthday, his schoolmate Zoe is coerced into coming along.
The Splits are animatronics, but they wander the studio grounds at night and drive their Banana Buggies. The new studio exec harshly tells the team the show's getting canned, and since the Splits's crazy inventor never programmed them to do anything but entertain kids and make them happy, they naturally go haywire and begin killing adults in complicated rituals imitating the fun segments on the show. Movie logic!
So the body count starts climbing rapidly and as in most campy horror, the bad eggs who proved themselves to be arrogant, sneaky or obnoxious are among the first to die. Here's where my biggest gripe about the film comes in. There's a perverse sense of justice in camp horror, so we can laugh at the ridiculous fates of the Splits's human co-host Stevie who gets drunk before spitting booze in their faces and tells them he hated being part of the show all along or Harley's dad Mitch, who gets caught cheating and shows no remorse over leaving his wife and two kids.
But it's tough to laugh at the demise of a character who did nothing wrong and was an all-around good guy being tortured and wounded, then forced to run an obstacle course, sobbing in terror and pain, before being gruesomely killed and then having her corpse shown again to frighten another character. There's no justice in that and although the character makes a wry comment reminiscent of Phone Guy's stoic "oh no" when she sees what's coming, it feels cheap to find any amusement in this. Likewise for Thadd, one half of the millennial duo who are more giddy over the band than the kids. The guy's worst crime was being a flamboyant geek and fangirling for the benefit of his Instagram followers (all 218 of 'em!) but at least his drawn-out death, moments after getting engaged to his co-star, elicits a sense of unfairness and sympathy.
IMO the movie had a lot going for it, with a solid plot, a likeable protagonist family (except Mitch, who is a scumbag with no redeeming qualities. He doesn't even try) and it upends a few horror movie tropes.
Some good stuff:
1) The studio lot is Taft Studios, likely a tribute to Sid and Marty Krofft who created the original Splits.
2) The Instagrammer and the show's host argue about Banana Splits trivia, and although Thadd claims to be an expert, everything they debate was right off the real-life Wikipedia page, haha.
3) One horror movie trope is twisted fantastically. When Instagrammer Poppy's fiance gets killed, she goes catatonic like Barbara in Night of the Living Dead and is reluctant to even save herself, but then she finds an unfinished fifth Banana Split costume, dons it and avenges him in grand style. Possibly the best plot twist of all.
4) Another trope undone: A jerk of a character survives an attack and makes a fake apology, and just as you're internally screaming how unfair it is that he survived, he gets offed for real.
Some not-so-great stuff:
1) The aforementioned prolonged suffering of good-guy characters, played for laughs. There are off-screen deaths of good guys too, but those aren't as gratuitous.
2) There is NO reference or tribute to Hanna-Barbera's 1978 movie, KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, about killer animatronics and their demented inventor! Inexcusable, because that movie had the animatronics invading the security office and dragging the guards out so they could experience "the joy of creation" and become androids themselves. And the Banana Splits's headpieces were on the parts & service shelf in that movie. I'm beginning to think nobody at WB is aware they bought this movie with their acquisition of H-B.
3) Poppy, one of the four adult survivors, strikes off on her own to avenge her fiance's death. The others seemingly take no notice of her sudden absence and don't even account for her at the end.
4) There's a Double-Dare-style messy obstacle course segment built into each show, and there was so much potential for some darkly humorous gore but the writers just wasted it and I'm mad. The Splits threw pies at the "contestants" but they missed every time and killed one of their victims ultra-generically.
And the FNaF references/tributes:
1) The human co-host, Stevie, plays a lot of roles on the show and he is first seen portraying an ineffective security guard, reprimanding the Splits for hitting his car outside but ultimately dancing and performing with them.
2) There's a fifth, unfinished animatronic, Hooty the Owl, that a character "becomes" before launching a frenetic revenge.
3) Much like Springtrap was seen intact after the Fazbear's Fright fire, the Splits's remains reactivate in the final scene, seemingly unnoticed by anyone.
4) There's a security guard who is used to the animatronics wandering at night, and he gets killed off-screen. This is debatably an FNaF reference, because WB really likes featuring its studio gatekeepers in its movies.
5) As seen in the trailer, when the animatronics are activated or on the prowl, their eyes glow pinpricks of red like Bonnie in the FNaF2 trailer.
6) The animatronics won't hurt kids outright, but they see no problem with locking them behind a gate or chaining them to their seats to watch a final, twisted episode of the show.
7) "Foxy is a good guy!" Snorky the elephant, Harley's favorite, rebels against his programming to challenge the others.
8) There's a parts and services shelf full of unfinished heads and other components.
9) The crazed inventor clearly thinks the Splits are more than mere robots and he doesn't have much of a soft spot for kids.
Petition for Stevie's actor, Richard White (he has no other roles listed on imdb) to be given a cameo as a security guard in the FNaF movie. That would be too precious!
The plot was solid, with a simple and predictable tale of kid's show characters gone bad, but if it's true that this an unused (and somewhat modified?) plot for the FNaF movie then we should be grateful we're going to get a more involved story than this. This would've been selling the FNaF story and lore short if "that's all that there was." There's no real explanation for why the Splits turn evil other than being programmed that way and not having a default mode when not performing, or why their inventor waited 50 years to sic them on anyone if he was really that evil. So despite some fans' opinions that remnant is an overdone and unneeded explanation for the hauntings and possession in FNaF, I for one am glad "our" movie will be more sophisticated than this.
It hit me today that Stevie's brief portrayal of a security guard on the TV show was either a tribute/apology to Scott for not being able to make the FNaF movie, or maybe a neener-neener sent his way: "haha, we made the movie anyway!" If that's so then the Instagrammer couple are a little neener-neener to all us FNaF/animatronic fans who are a little older than the target audience. Y'know, "haha, you wear fan t-shirts, you fangirl animatronics worse than the little kids, you go on pilgrimmages to see them and squeal, 'my childhood!' and you share your geekery with your fellow nerds."
...I feel personally attacked. And they pretty much nailed at least some of us, spot-on. Crying and shaking right now. /s
Still wish they'd picked a genre and stuck with it. Switching rapid-fire between comedic horror with ridiculously ironic deaths and pretty much torture pr0n left things feeling uneven.