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I guess if you go in blind and get unlucky and don't get the bubble wand early you might feel lost for awhile, but each path prevents you from progressing without having one or more of the other items so it's not like you're just stuck with nowhere to go... you just need to try one of the other paths.
Anyway, this game was sold to me as being about exploration, discovery and puzzle solving and even though I did sometimes feel lost at first, I found it very satisfying figuring out what to do next.
Your other points seem particular to you, as I have never heard anyone else complain about those things. Like the screen flashing I don't get, the respawn system is pretty straightforward (you always respawn at the last solid ground you were touching, except in a few very specific places they made it different so you don't get trapped) as well as the damage system (only water doesn't hurt you, everything else does) and the telephones are definitely totally visible and they're all marked on the map as well.
Early platformers were designed to eat people's quarters at arcades, which means a lot of obfuscation and time wasting artificial difficulty. IMO a lot of Gen Y has positive nostalgia for these games because they played them as kids and it leads them to recreate experiences that are grating and confusing for other audiences.
Another related fact - it was common for older games to come with a paper manual, this is why a lot of pre 2000s games don't have exposition or instructions in-game. I suspect a lot of younger players in the early days only had access to arcade versions with no documentation or didn't/couldn't read the manual, which creates this weird nostalgia for games with no exposition or tutorial that "convey information through gameplay."
It's not a bad game, it's just a "you had to be there" if you know what I mean - if you're older or younger than Gen Y or just didn't play platforming games in the late 90s it just won't resonate. Dunkey, Leah, and the game's developer are all Gen Y if I'm not mistaken. Your brain may not have the emotional script for feeling good or happy while playing this type of game.