What is the funniest line youve heard so far

[Atomic Monk]

Because this game is quite humorous, there have been dozens of moments from a chuckle to real Laugh out Loud statements by guards and towns people..

I was hanging from a building and trying to attract the attention of a guard so I could reach up and stealth throw him off the top.. so I was whistling.. and whistling .. but he kept walking away... then coming back...

then all of a sudden he shouts:


"When I get hold of you, youll never be able to whistle like that again.."


It just cracked me up.. It was so smug, so sarcastic.. and yet he was really annoyed.. Such perfect A.I..

I actually had to pause the game.. i was in hysterics..


So, I thought Ide ask... what is your funniest or favourite one liner or situation that you remember that has made you Laugh out loud??

[darkdisciple1313]

Kassandra (it's better when she does it than Alexios, just because), to Cyclops after he demands it back:

*shoves his obsidian fake eye up a goat's tuchus*

"You want it? Go get it."

**********

Phoibe, to the scum what kidnapped her and are holding her for ransom:

Kidnapper: She'll bring good ransom for Cyclops.

Phoibe: Nobody's going to pay you anything for me, they're all poor!

What Phoibe was likely thinking: "You dumb bleepity-bleep, did your mother drop you a lot when you were a baby? Is she still doing it now?"

[UbiCosmos]

This is a great thread! Thanks for sharing your funniest lines so I can laugh all over again at them. :)

[JLAR]

I remember accidentally pointing / aiming my bow at a spartan brute and he says:

"Unstring that bow or I'll unstring you!"

Wasn't expecting that & the voice actor read the line perfectly. I also find the different variations of malaka / malakas that are used in the conversations to be hilarious.

[pokerhabs]

1- "Malaka!" when facing the real cyclop

2-"Gross!" when interacting with the arena guy, after he spits

3-Pretty much everything coming out of Barnabas' mouth

4-Around a restricted area, Kass saying :" I should not be seen in this area " when my plan was storming from the main gates and attract the most attention I can... I mean, she should know, we have been doing that for more than 200hours.

[crisp]

popped up from a bush aiming my bow at a guards head debating whether or not to shoot and he just turns round, points his finger at me, and shouts GTFO HERE! so i did laughing like mad and thinking at the same time he was a true spartan :)

[.eReN.]

- I. Am...The minotaur! Rooooar!!!
- ...what?

FEAR MY MOO! FEAR IT?

[Zolushka]

"I'm going to feed your corpse to Ikaros, you stupid bird".

Idk why but the way she says 'stupid bird' gets me everytime.

Also, anytime a guard says "What the ♥♥♥♥" absolutely cracks me up, just because of how they say it. I purposely antagonise guards and make them chase me for ages just to see what they'll say.

[Riven]

my favorite line was when we took Testikles to the Olympics, he ran of screaming "Olympics yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" or smth like that and Kass goes "He better fcking win", the way she said it was so hilarious

[ReflKnight]

I love the random generated quests quotes.

-I found your note, what's the problem?
-There is this guy who keeps following me, giving me gifts, making poems about me.
-Seems like he's in love with you. Nothing strange about that.
-NO, I can't stand this anymore.
-So you want me to get rid of him.
-Yes, this man must die.

[Tr0w]

Nothing from Odyssey to be honest, most of it is that in your face screaming at you to laugh when it isn't that funny American style humour. I've been doing an AC marathon though and while playing Brotherhood the other day i was free running and climbing over buildings and walls when i stopped to roll a cigarette, a random civilian then climbed up onto the wall next to Ezio, turned to him and said "Intriguing... But why not just walk?" which got a laugh out of me.

[MarsVega]

When you see the Kretan bull, "Look at that, Father of the Minotaur!" that gave me a good laugh since I was sneaking in and that line came out of no where.

[darkdisciple1313]

Since they knew we would, you know the developers put in this line on Kephallonia, when a certain statue can be climbed to get to a synch spot.

Whilst moving around a particular portion of said statue's anatomy:

"I really shouldn't be climbing on this."

I admit to doing it, just to see if the writers would provide such a line, and I was not disappointed. If you've done it, you know what and where I mean.

To paraphrase Field of Dreams: "If you build it...they will climb..."

[Atomic Monk]

Hahaha.. excellent replies.. really good,

Ive also had the line..

"Ill tell you where Im going to shove that sword, when I catch you ".. Soo funny :)

I think sometimes the audio and voice overs for this game are just procedural generated, they are just so many of them, so random and funny...

I wonder if UBI know they have a "Ghost in the Machine" :)


Please keep your best one-liners or even favourite moments coming in..

Love reading about other players experiences. :)

[Bloodartist]

Kassandra: "Surely he can swim."
...
Alkibiades: "Well, it looks like you are the champion now, ah?"

[tonypa]

Originally posted by Riven:

my favorite line was when we took Testikles to the Olympics, he ran of screaming "Olympics yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" or smth like that and Kass goes "He better fcking win", the way she said it was so hilarious

Oh yeah, Testikles. Whole quest involving him.