Guys girls are watching so we must get stronger!

if you can get past all of the horny, it's a good himbo beat em up simulator

Optimally played in a nyquil fueled haze, best not played

Cracked a guys spine in half doing a dive kick.
Saw panties in a crowd of lifted skirts from the impact wave.
Women love me.

Mercilessly beating people in the streets for affection/10

I have several hours in Uppers, originally released for the Vita in 2016-ish overseas, mostly played on daily commutes to work. It has some serious Kenka Bancho energy and for the most part is absolutely mindless, which is why I was able to enjoy it without understanding little more than a few words. The biggest issues I had, resolved here, were the specific requests from the crowd and getting them addressed without a guide. Thankfully, someone out there had done the legwork and translated all that, but it was a bit of a chore trying to line up specific requests to specific missions. More effort than the game is worth? Probably, but I also didn't think it had any chance of coming West. So it goes without saying that I'm happy to finally understand everything that's going on in this game, but what does that mean for you?

As an older brawler title, the resolution upgrade from the Vita is a plus, but it's still pretty low-poly cel-shaded stuff, so if you're expecting super-smooth and flashy gameplay here, forget about it. While it controls well enough, as I said, this game is absolutely mindless and it scratches a certain itch of the need to kick some butts without being completely frustrating like some belt games (e.g. the new Streets of Rage 4). Sometimes you just want to check out for the day and mash some buttons, and if that's what you need, then you might enjoy Uppers. It's completely over the top and the story is about as ridiculous as you can expect.

The story is that these two super tough, muscle-bound noobs go to an island where masculinity rules and the toughest dude gets all the ladies. All of the gang members you pummel are straight out of 80s and 90s Japanese hooligan stereotypes and the game exudes an overall comic book kitsch that is a lot of fun instead of being cringey. As you take on the challenge of beating several people up for various reasons, girls will stand on the sidelines and cheer you on, giving you bonuses if you beat up your opponents in specific ways. It turns them on and you sometimes collect their pantsu!

Don't get too excited, though. The fanservice isn't really what this game is about and it sits on the back burner. In fact, the most servicey bits happen when you lose, which is actually pretty hard to do. Uppers is entirely about running around and mashing light and heavy attacks until you can unlock super moves which, as expected, burn some meter; wash, rinse, repeat. Quite often there are environmental toys to play with like spinning around light poles or stuffing people into manholes. Most of the missions are variations on a theme - run around and beat people up. That's about it.

Uppers isn't going to win any awards. It is absolutely bonkers and kooky and a lot of fun if you know what you're getting into. If hammering on goons and impressing young women while you flex sounds like your cuppa, then Uppers is probably going to be a lot of fun for you. This is the farthest thing from trying to make some craptacular amateur film through the lens of video games - this is just sitting down, switching off and wailing on thugs, repeated ad nauseum. To me, it's a breath of fresh air in an all-too-serious market.

Its time to get Uppers if youre feeling downers from the lack of beat em up's. If you want a exciting, over the top, brawler with the combat of yakuza and the over the top flash of mad world(wii)/Def jam fight for new york

YOU NEED TO PLAY.

THIS GAME IF YOU LIKE TO

SHOW OFF WHEN THE GIRLS ARE WATCHING

UPHOLD HONOR AND MANLYNESS

PUNCH, KICK, GRAPPLE YOUR OPPONENT INTO SUBMISSION IN A VARIETY OF THE FIGHTING ARTS

CHAOS DUNK ON LAMES, ON THE COURT

PUT YOUR OPPONENT IN OVER 70 PAINFUL POSITIONS IN 30 SECONDS

RESPECT AND PROTECT OUR WOMEN

IF YOU SAID YES TO ANY OF THESE, I THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME KING OF THE ISLAND


the only complaint i have is the optimization may vary on your hardware. Please patch this amazing game. It should have had a PS4 release SONY

the PS Vita was a dumpster fire baby of a system with basically 3 exclusives, and UPPERS is the final one to escape the exclusivity dungeon and finally give you a reason to snap that stupid little $200 brick in half

as far as an actual game, UPPERS a really simple lockon-based beat-em-up game about YANKII HYPE and GETTING GIRLS' PHONE NUMBERS. it's got a very Senran Kagura type of feel to it, but instead of girls stripping it's hot dudes giving one-liners while suplexing punks through cars. if you're into any of it, it's worth checking out, though you'll definitely feel robbed to play it for $30 if you aren't the type to buy stupid crap for asking price already.

it definitely feels choked up and cheap with a low framerate and a limit to rendering characters on-screen. that blame can go to the PS Vita more than anything, since this is a very direct port for a game made a long while ago by as mall studio that can't financially afford to be remaking games from scratch that they know will only be niche hits regardless.

it's repetitive, too! you pretty much loop animations and try to game the AI into standing in the right spot for special finishers and environment attacks. so if you're one of those "the only good action game is Devil May Cry 3 or 5" types, cram it! it's gonna hurt you!

i still recommend it because one of my favorite artists (the modern KOF designer) did the characters for this game, it's a thrill to send goons through brick walls while girls cheer, and i also have a painful addiction to high school delinquency fiction to begin with.

so don't listen to me!

This game is trash.

But y'know the good trash. The kind that makes you come back for more and more. It's simple and clean, effective and man does it feel ♥♥♥♥♥♥ good to punch people into the void.

Uppers has been a game that I have been waiting to come to Steam forever, and the wait was totally worth it. The fast, and frenetic gameplay is over the top, the visuals suit the style of the game perfectly, and it has a fun-loving appeal that makes you want to keep playing to see what is next. Uppers is certainly worth the price of admission.

it's like yakuza on CRACK!!!! 11/10