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87 for Sun Ren. Sun Ce is 17 (most important turn to keep in mind as not all factions can easily locate Sun Jian before then), Ma Chao is 22 and Sun Quan is 51. Worth keeping in mind if you want to pick them up, as they're all immediately available for marriage.
Sun Ce is the most important TBH as his unique ability is incredibly strong for an heir, and he'll let you get Zhou Yu a few turns later. Ma Chao doesn't offer the same bonuses, Sun Quan is a commander, and when Sun Ren is available you should've won the camapign already.
The chances of having children doesn't actually change at all if the couple don't like each other. In my last game I was able to marry her to Cao Pi and they both had conflicting personalities, yet managed to have 5 kids together.