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On a more global level though, the system is ♥♥♥♥ that exists purely to let the player abuse the ai for money in the early game.
It is only a matter of time until the map turns into a battle royale where you're the only one who's not in a party.
Also, at the end of every other turn review your diplomacy screen to see if you can exploit anything or if your relationship is deteriorating with friendly factions...catch it before it becomes a problem. Etc etc
I've beena eating their empire for a long time. But what happened was different. Gonguscan, Cai Mao, Mao teng, teo or three from the western side, my vassal. All of them declared was on the same turn. I had some treaty going on with half of them, so now my credibility has gone down the gutter...like -50 from 0.
Or, you're just real unlucky i guess.
Things change often. Bare down and get yourself out of the situation. If worse comes to worse offer to become someone's vassal.
I was thinking same thing. Something happened that isnt mentioned, or wasnt noticed.
I feel diplomacy in this is so much better than in previous titles so far. There are things you can do to screw yourself, but if you are paying attention you are told it will do so. I know the first time I annexed someone i did it a little to fast since my whole goal was to get them to vassal so i could do that aquire lu bu. That one act made me treacherous for pretty much the rest of campaign and did really tick off some of the ai, and especially all my other vassals.
The only other thing i had happen close to what is mentioned in OP is Cao Cao once made 2 of my vassals declare war on 2 different factions during ai's turn (guess they dont ask for permission from vassal lord when he does that) . That resulted in me having a lot of enemies that used to be my trade partners come the start of my turn.
For the future you can also use Cao Cao's ability to ensure the stronger factions like you and will be less likely to go to war with you or pit them against each other so they might not want to fight you as well.
If you see two large factions in peace with each other. You can as autonomic vassal make them fight each other.
Were you overly aggressive ? treacherous ? If yes, then, you will suffer serious diplomatic penalty and even your allies will turn their backs on you. So, tread carefully.
Giving away a settlement or two for practically nothing isnt unheard of.
Just dont make friends with Liu Bei because he's friends with everyone save for yellow turban and Dong Zhou so attacking anyone will net you negative relationship with him.