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If you're playing as Zheng Jiang, just make +15 relationship trade deals back and forth until you can threaten him with marriage in the first round.
Only know this cause I tried to marry her with Ma Chao.
Declare war on her right away and destroy her faction. Fight every battle and then release her and ransom the prisoners, make sure you keep doing this until her toon has a "green fondness" icon because you were a good chap and kept letting her go.
if you can, allow someone else to destroy the faction but beat her down to her last stronghold, if she "has become fond" you, the chance of capturing her is above average, but you might need to make a save roll it a few times as it's RNG.
Once you got her in your pool, divorce her from conqian if you havent killed him already and marry her.
Theres a mod on the nexus if you don't want to bother trying all that out yourself that gives you ZJ in CE 192 right at the beginning of the game as ZY.
i utterly destroyed Han Fu and he wound up in my pool...i guess it was me or Yuan shao and he chose the less hated lol
The issue there is the map looks hideous after (the region north of the mountains is visible even after removing the mod after saving) and you have diplo contact with 90% of the lords making the playthrough a bit easy.
I believe there's a movement cheat that would allow you to wallk up to her turn 1 and diplo too which would work better but not tried that. Interestingly if you marry her turn one she is quite satisfied - about 59 satisfaction and both are a good trait match. Sadly most of her court (Lu Sheng and Yin Le) disappear though.
Someone should add a savegame file as a mod after doing the long walk marriage method. Pretty sure it'd be quite popular.
https://www.nexusmods.com/totalwarthreekingdoms/mods/25
The early save is an optional file check it out.
Depends on the relations with her and your faction