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I think the game decides early on whether you're going to be friends, rivals or lovers, and it's only during events later on that you can get new pairings. "The Abandoned" can turn friends into Rivals, for instance.
Nice! That was the kind of answer I was hoping for.
This is basically the case, as far as I know - when characters get their first pip of friendship the game decides whether they'll spontaneously become lovers or rivals depending on their personalities. Romances are further restricted by having to follow the characters' respective sexualities, not being family (obviously) and importantly not having too large an age gap - this means if a character doesn't form a random romance while they're young, they're not going to form one with new characters because new characters are always Young while your established ones are now too old to date. So random romances will basically never trigger for older characters unless you deliberately keep a compatible pair away from each other for the first couple of chapters.
I think the age gap rule also applies to romances that can trigger in events, but personality compatibility doesn't and I'm not sure about sexuality either, so if you've got two characters at the same age you can still roll events to pair them up later on. But it depends on rolling one of the events that does that.
When any given romance or rivalry forms is based on relationship level between the two heroes and can happen as early as relationship level two (easily attainable in one chapter). Since it's fairly common, heroes usually "pair up" early on, which gives the impression that old couples don't often fall in love. In reality, the reason they haven't fallen in love by then is because they either haven't spent enough time together or their personalities aren't compatible enough for it to happen randomly, both of which can be overridden by events.