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Unfortunately, the first reference to appear in the console when you click on something is not always the right one. So, you need to scroll through and make sure yoiu have the right one focussed.
The other possibility is that she is dead, or stuck in terrain somewhere. Oddly enough I've noticed that a dead follower doesn't always free up a follower slot. Likewise, things like fast travel don't always re-unite you with your horse or follower if they are stuck in terrain. Particularly, if it's modded terrain like a player home or something, it's almost like the game engine can't find them anymore.
I searched the ID and the commands, and i don't think that the reference is the wrong one, because the marker still appears whenever i use the "moveto".
I went to the throat and she's not there, probably because of the "moveto" or i dunno i' haven't try getting married again and going to the catacumbs if she's dead, i'll try that and see what happens.
I don't know why, but that seems to be a fact from my own experiments.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpU5ckLiZlM&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PL9LVPoSIeVsJVvueeD1_WFDitX991mIlF
As you can see in the video above I spent ages trying to get Lydia to move out of my house, where she was stuck.
But as you can see although Lydia's official actors reference was 000A2c8e, in fact, her actors reference in my game was 000A2c94.
So, you have a problem in that unless you know where Aela is you can't be sure that you are using the right reference for her.
++++
Ok! hopefully this might help.
I've just checked Lydia's actors reference against and discovered that every actor has two references (a Base id and a Ref ID). So when you do a help apparently you get the base id, which isn't the reference you need.
Lydia's Base ID is 000A2c8e which was the one that didn't work. But Wikia also shows her Ref ID as 000A2c94 which was the one that did.
So, I looked up Aela on the same site, and it says her Base ID is 0001A696 and her Ref ID is 0001A697.
Therefore, assuming consistency of information the Actors Ref you need should be 0001A697.
However, for that to work you I think you will need to move your player to Aela to make Aela the selection in your console. Hopefully, this is of some help.
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The ID that i've been using is the reference ID (0001A697) but it doesn't work either when i move her to me or when i try to move to her, like i said before only the marker of the misc quest "Talk to the companions leaders for work" moves to me so that should be something.
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When i type player.moveto (with the reference ID) says "Missing parameter ObjectreferenceID
Compiled script not saved!
OP, did you follow Didz's video? You need to place your cursor over the actor in order to obtain her reference. You did this? Or just got some random uncertified id from the internet?
Didz, I'm adding this video to the help thread, so it can remain pinned.. it might prove to be inspirational to others :)
Unfortunately, the OP's problem is complicated by the fact that he doesn't know where Aela is, so whereas I was able to walk up to Lydia and check her Actors Reference he doesn't have that option.
In theory, it ought to be 0001A697 , but he reckons he's tried that and he got a quest marker moved to him instead of the NPC. So, somethings not right. Even if she was dead, I wouldn't expect a different object to take her reference.
What I could do is try that reference in my game and see what happens.
+++++
Ok! I think I've cracked it.
First of all I did a player.moveto 0001A697, which actually moved my character to a location inside Jorrvaskr in Whiterun. I have no idea what that object reference relates to, but it definately isn't Aela.
However, as luck would have it when I teleported into Jorrvaskr it must have been lunch time because most of the Champions were sitting around the table eating. Including Aela.
So, I went over and gave her a poke with the console selector, and after a few false starts managed to get her to moveto player using Actor Ref: 0001a697
So, that seems to be the right reference. I immediately reloaded the game and did the same thing in Windhelm and a rather confused Aela immediately appeared in the market place and then began a long walk back to White Run.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=213534780
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=213534452
I lost Lydia for a while. I thought ''fine, you sulk all you want, I'm off''...And I carried on with my game, assuming, by my gaming experience, that the glitch will rectify itself eventually...after a few game days, lo and behold...she appeared as if from no where.
I wonder if sleeping in a bed for a few days might refresh her? I just carried on playing in my game, when Lydia had ditched me..she was gone for around 4 or 5 days, before magically re apeparing during an interior>exterior load.
Strange :/
Just out of interest is there any way of setting the console focus to 0001a697 without actually selecting Aela?
Because obvoiusly if she is missing, the OP can't do it the way I did it. Unless of course she's got umbrage and run off to Jovaskrr in the OP's game too.