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Hearthfire is worth it, imo.
But as you say you don't like large houses you might find it too big, although i think it's *just* the right size especially for collectors. But for some people it might feel too big.
Here's other suggestions.
Hassildor (if you're a vampire)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/52057/
Thornrock
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/51980/
Dragon Falls Manor
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/10901/
Morskom Estate (this one is really fun, because it builds along, but probably too big for you)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/57141/
Riverside Lodge
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/14308/
You pretty much cannot move your family into custom homes created by other users without using yet-more mods. (well some custom houses do include such "helper" scrips to move the family in - but for the most part.. you'll find you'll need the below mods)
My Home is Your Home (for followers)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/18045/
My Home is Your Home 2 (for followers - more options than the first, but maybe unnecessary)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/62040/
Spouses can Live Everywhere (for your spouse of course)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/11370/
Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions (for kids and spouse)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/29249/
Custom Family Homes (housecarl, steward, kids, spouse)
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/47621/
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/31380
Changed link
Another interesting one is Silverfish Grotto - not sure if it's family friendly, but it's pretty gorgeous http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/35966/? it also has interesting features like if you're away too long it starts to need cleaning, and it's another one you can fix up rather than moving into a fully furnished mansion.
This is similar to the first one, expanding on an existing shack with an unlucky former inhabitant: http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/18480/? It's also significantly bigger than the first one if you fully build it, and it says you can use Spouses Can Live Anywhere with it. (Silverfish doesn't say on the mod page that you can't, by the way, it just doesn't mention that you can. It looks big enough.) Not sure about kids, though.
Perhaps the best thing would be to make a backup save, install the ones you like the look of, and go on a 'real estate tour', then you can uninstall the ones you don't like and revert to your original save (which hasn't had any of them installed yet) and keep the one you like best? (Of course, if you're set on the one I've just noticed you already picked, ignore that suggestion!)
The families thing isn't really a gameplay thing, it's more of an aesthetic, I like to have my family at the same house where I have everything displayed and looking fancy. Instead of having to navigate between houses for different experiences.
Yeah, I know what you mean, it's definitely not one of those IMO, it's a nice house for a minor noble, but it's not a palace and it doesn't seem to have a ridiculous underground cavern filled with fancy storage and whatnot.
Oh, I'm guessing you've seen Breezehome Fully Upgradeable, but if not, it's worth checking out if you fancy a better-equipped Breezehome some time. Some of the upgrades are maybe a little OTT, but you can always save before buying them and reload if you don't like them. It also adds in a couple of fun features like a treasure hunt around Skyrim with clues rather than quest markers and whatnot. And it should be family friendly, although apparently there's a potential issue around getting the balcony after you move kids in, or vice versa (can't remember which). It also gives Lydia a slightly nicer bedroom which is also, well, not right opposite yours.