Skyrim Jokes

[PuppyGirlClover]

No i'm not telling any jokes about skyrim. But i'm asking YOU! THE READER OF THIS THREAD! To make jokes in the comments :3 (MUST BE SKYRIM RELATED JOKES!)

[Stag Hammer]

Originally posted by Hero of Kvatch:

Why did Tulius go into hiding? He wanted to live in Solitude.

How high did the Nord jump?

To the sky rim.

What did the Divines say when they heard Alduin was in Sovngarde?

"Really! Are your Shor?"

Whats Ru3nedlyfe's favorite type of magic?

Necromancy.

Seriously, this thread has been long dead, take your jokes Elsweyr.

[The Holy Chicken Overlord]

So not only was this thread revived twice, it was by the same person each time. Ru3nedlyfe is overly attached to the thread.

[Captain Froggy]

Originally posted by Hero of Kvatch:

So not only was this thread revived twice, it was by the same person each time. Ru3nedlyfe is overly attached to the thread.

So he has evolved into Adept Necromancer?

[PuppyGirlClover]

You guys are back? I thought you left. I was just sitting watching some stuff but then you guys came back asking to come up with jokes again.

[ShocksVR #AirLink]

If you can get Salmonella from chicken; can you get Chickenmonella from salmon?

[Dream]

Originally posted by Dr. Shocks DO -Rheumatoidies-":

If you can get Salmonella from chicken; can you get Chickenmonella from salmon?

wouldn't it just be Chickenella?
which incedently sounds like the farmyard remake of a fairy tale

[ShocksVR #AirLink]

I too thought it would be Chickenella, but Will Forte disagrees as it is his joke. Gave me a good chuckle.

[Trehek]

Since the necromancer has really brought this party to life, please allow me to recite a few necromancy related jokes:

Why was the necromancer's skeletal army too afraid to fight the Dawnguard?
They had no guts!

What was the easiest thing for the necromancer to do in elementary school?
Spelling tests!

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

Why don't conjured ghosts go out in the rain?
It dampens their spirits!

What did the Necromancer say to his Vampires when he wanted them to take inventory of the kitchen utensils?
Count spatulas!

What do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaiiiinnnnsssss

[Protag]

What did the level 1 dovahkiin say to the level 100 dragon?



Nothing,cuz he was dead

[The Extreme Potato]

The vanilla textures

Why does Dohvahkiin look glum?

Because he's the dragon-bored.
Gettit?
No?
I'll go now...

[PuppyGirlClover]

What did Isran say when the vampires were about to attack? EVERYONE, DAWNGUARD
Get it? "Dawnguard" as in "On guard"?
No?
Ok i'll go back to eating potato chips and watching stuff on TV.

[The ♥♥♥♥ Consumer]

Two Dragons walk into a bar, one says "It's hot in here." The other says "Shut your mouth!" \

This joke was courtsy of Inigo.

[winter is here...]

Originally posted by Fallout is love. Fallout is Life:

Two Dragons walk into a bar, one says "It's hot in here." The other says "Shut your mouth!" \

This joke was courtsy of Inigo.

and this is how the dragonborn was well um born

[rich]

1. Adrianne Avenicci isn't the best blacksmith in Whiterun, but Eorlund Gray-Mane's steel is still pretty focking far away from legendary.

2. My girlfriend asked me to solve a riddle. She said:"8 letters, 3 words, and I'm all yours."
"FUS RO DAH"

[Todd Howard]

Originally posted by Fabea:

Originally posted by Protag {TAG}:

i get the fact that its a sex reference but where is the "joke" part in this?

I hate having to explain jokes..... I hate having to explain jokes full Stop!

But one last try, a Joke can be a short story with a unexpected ending that jolts the funnybone ok.....

Yes, but the joke in that one was weak.
This one shows how that kind of humor should work.

Originally posted by kdodds:

A Nord, an Altmer, and a Dunmer make the pilgrimage to High Hrothgar. Once at the top, the Nord and Dunmer start arguing about Azura and Talos as primary deities. Finally, the Dunmer says, "I will jump, and by Azura's will I will be blown back up to safety." The Dunmer jumps, and of course, splats on the side of the mountain. The Altmer says to the Nord, "Such devotion is an admirable quality. Will you show the same devotion to Talos?" To which the Nord replies, "Surely," and throws the Altmer off the mountain.