Skyrim Jokes

[PuppyGirlClover]

No i'm not telling any jokes about skyrim. But i'm asking YOU! THE READER OF THIS THREAD! To make jokes in the comments :3 (MUST BE SKYRIM RELATED JOKES!)

[L7vanmatre]

Kill a chicken, guards attack.

[Westcrest]

• Why was the Spriggan executed? It was a member of the Bark Brotherhood.
  
  
• What did Alduin do when his wife died? Dragonmourn.
  
  
• Why did the Dwarves loose the battle against the chimer? they didn't have the reach.
  
  
• What family is the skeever classified under? Fus Ro-dent.
  
  
• How did the redguard break his toe? He was building a house, and his hammerfell.
  
  
• Why did king Torygg have no friends? Because he spent all his time in Solitude.
  
  
• A man walks into an inn, and he hears the bard playing. The man says, "wow, that sounds
  
  
• really good, what is it?" The bard replies, "Oh, it's just some Rift I came up with."
  
  
• What kind of porn is most popular on Nirn? Ebony.
  
  
• What was the baker's most in demand commodity? Elder Rolls.
  
  
• What did the barrel say to the other barrel? Sweet Roll.
  
  
• Why did the bird watcher quit his job? He used to be an adventurer like you, but then he took a Sparrow to the Knee.

[Jack The Ripper]

Why do Khajiit lick their butts?

[Protag]

Despite being named "the elder scrolls" the actual scroll in-game serves no purpose other then being sold to a mage for 1000 gold...

[GIJoe597]

Protag-

And the Dawnguard quest line...

[L7vanmatre]

Messaggio originale di Jack The Ripper:

Why do Khajiit lick their butts?

Idk. Why?

[Jack The Ripper]

Messaggio originale di L7vanmatre:

Messaggio originale di Jack The Ripper:

Why do Khajiit lick their butts?

Idk. Why?

To get the taste of Khajiit cooking out of their mouth BWAHAHAHAAHHA

[TheMagicHobo76]

Hey, why are Argonians amphibious?

A: I mean, they're a lizard race which originated in a swamp, KINDA obvious...

#AntiJokesAllTheWay

[Protag]

Messaggio originale di TheMagicHobo76:

Hey, why are Argonians amphibious?

A: I mean, they're a lizard race which originated in a swamp, KINDA obvious...

#AntiJokesAllTheWay

Reptile=\=amphibians

[Da Random]

2 Khajiits are having a conversation, what did one say to the other?
I don't know, but someone sure has been hitting a little bit too much Skooma lately.

[Captain Froggy]

Messaggio originale di TheMagicHobo76:

Hey, why are Argonians amphibious?

A: I mean, they're a lizard race which originated in a swamp, KINDA obvious...

#AntiJokesAllTheWay

I don't think amphibians are the same as reptiles but I could be wrong...

Or not. No I'm definitely not wrong. It's just a bad joke.

[TheMagicHobo76]

Messaggio originale di Lunar Froggy:

Messaggio originale di TheMagicHobo76:

Hey, why are Argonians amphibious?

A: I mean, they're a lizard race which originated in a swamp, KINDA obvious...

#AntiJokesAllTheWay

I don't think amphibians are the same as reptiles but I could be wrong...

Or not. No I'm definitely not wrong. It's just a bad joke.

Messaggio originale di Protag {TAG}:

Messaggio originale di TheMagicHobo76:

Hey, why are Argonians amphibious?

A: I mean, they're a lizard race which originated in a swamp, KINDA obvious...

#AntiJokesAllTheWay

Reptile=\=amphibians

Ok, you got me there... I derped pretty hard, especially since I hadn't put much thought into that "joke." Thanks for catching me!

[The Holy Chicken Overlord]

Messaggio originale di TheMagicHobo76:

Messaggio originale di Lunar Froggy:

I don't think amphibians are the same as reptiles but I could be wrong...

Or not. No I'm definitely not wrong. It's just a bad joke.

Messaggio originale di Protag {TAG}:

Reptile=\=amphibians

Ok, you got me there... I derped pretty hard, especially since I hadn't put much thought into that "joke." Thanks for catching me!

Now you're getting them confused with fish!.....



I'm sorry

[TheMagicHobo76]

Messaggio originale di The True Chicken Overlord:

Now you're getting them confused with fish!.....



I'm sorry

Ok, that was cringey but was still better than my joke!

[Protag]

The argonians are both reptillian AND amphibious somehow,also they lay eggs so why do they have breasts? I'll never understand skyrim...