Skyrim Jokes

[PuppyGirlClover]

No i'm not telling any jokes about skyrim. But i'm asking YOU! THE READER OF THIS THREAD! To make jokes in the comments :3 (MUST BE SKYRIM RELATED JOKES!)

[The Holy Chicken Overlord]

I must redeem myself! Oh mighty Divines, forgive me!

(This one isnt a Skyrim joke, it's an Oblivion joke, bet eh.)

What did the Mythic Dawn assassin say when Mehrunes Dagon told him to kill the Emperor?

He ax-sept-'im.

EDIT: I wouldnt really say this thread ever had a 'prime', seeing as the first joke here was pretty much "hurr they have sex hurr hurr"

[Rush Knight]

Forsworn armor.

[Captain Froggy]

Originally posted by Ru3nedlyfe:

Originally posted by IRGAftermath:

I didn't kill it, did I?

You didn't kill it. It seems to have been an effort of several people.

Nah, the thread just took
an arrow to the knee

[Jarl Axel Svarrson]

Originally posted by Ru3nedlyfe:

I think this thread should die, and never come back again... It is no longer in its prime. Once It was great, but now it has fallen. It has fallen deeper than the Dwemer could ever have dug. It has reached the age, where death would be merciful. We all love this thread. We loved it enought to revive it five, or six times now, but we have fallen to just reusing stale jokes. It is for the best that the Thread Necromancers leave it to Rest in Peace.

I used to think the thread should die like you,

Then i took an arrow to the knee.

[PuppyGirlClover]

Well I guess that if we are about to let the thread die we may as well remember the first joke to start it all.... Let that joke be our gravestone...

[PuppyGirlClover]

The Dovahkin awoke one morning to find he had laryngitis. He could hardly talk above a whisper. "OMG", he said "I'll never be able to Shout at dragons today! I'd better go and see a healer."

He went to the Temple of Kynareth in Whiterun, and knocked on the door, and he was astonished when the door was opened by... the most attractive young follower he'd ever seen! "OMG!" he thought. "The player has downloaded a really beautiful young girl!"

The Dovahkin leaned forward and whispered hoarsely "Are the healers in?"

The young girl leaned forward and whispered back "No, Dovahkin, they'll be gone all day! The place is empty! Come in!"

[IRGAftermath]

Originally posted by (TCC) TheHoodedCreeperLord:

The Dovahkin awoke one morning to find he had laryngitis. He could hardly talk above a whisper. "OMG", he said "I'll never be able to Shout at dragons today! I'd better go and see a healer."

He went to the Temple of Kynareth in Whiterun, and knocked on the door, and he was astonished when the door was opened by... the most attractive young follower he'd ever seen! "OMG!" he thought. "The player has downloaded a really beautiful young girl!"

The Dovahkin leaned forward and whispered hoarsely "Are the healers in?"

The young girl leaned forward and whispered back "No, Dovahkin, they'll be gone all day! The place is empty! Come in!"

Booooooooo.

[The Holy Chicken Overlord]

Originally posted by (TCC) TheHoodedCreeperLord:

The Dovahkin awoke one morning to find he had laryngitis. He could hardly talk above a whisper. "OMG", he said "I'll never be able to Shout at dragons today! I'd better go and see a healer."

He went to the Temple of Kynareth in Whiterun, and knocked on the door, and he was astonished when the door was opened by... the most attractive young follower he'd ever seen! "OMG!" he thought. "The player has downloaded a really beautiful young girl!"

The Dovahkin leaned forward and whispered hoarsely "Are the healers in?"

The young girl leaned forward and whispered back "No, Dovahkin, they'll be gone all day! The place is empty! Come in!"

Fun fact: the first joke on here is also the worst I've ever heard. It's worse than the arrow to the knee spam. Seriously, it's literally just "They have sex, her de der." AND WE SHALL NEVER LET THIS THREAD DIE!!!!!!!!

[PuppyGirlClover]

Oh. Well I mean... I thought you all were putting the thread down... Giving up on it? Even the necromancer who kept bringing it back said that.

[IRGAftermath]

Conjuration increased to 97.

[winter is here...]

Originally posted by Ru3nedlyfe:

I think this thread should die, and never come back again... It is no longer in its prime. Once It was great, but now it has fallen. It has fallen deeper than the Dwemer could ever have dug. It has reached the age, where death would be merciful. We all love this thread. We loved it enought to revive it five, or six times now, but we have fallen to just reusing stale jokes. It is for the best that the Thread Necromancers leave it to Rest in Peace.

king of the thread KING OF THE THREAD KING OF THE THREAD!!!!!!!!!!

[Avrie]

Does anyone actually know the joke about the breton and the bear tamer?

(I'm getting sick of the carrage drivers mentioning it without saying it ;-)

[Cetus drieser]

Adventurer: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!
Dragon born: FUS RO DAH!

[hi friends]

I took arrow in the knee.


Even though I was just a citizen.

[Protag]

What did the arrow say to the knee?
"Look! You took an arrow!"

Why did the guard cross the road?
He had an arrow in his knee

Why was the imperial guard no longer an adventurer like you?
He took an arrow to the knee

So an arrow and a knee walk into a bar
The arrow gets stuck in the knee