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So can Hearthfires, but that's mostly building your houses.
Dragonborn I would leave until at least level 30.
Although your completion of main questline has little bit of impact on Dragonborn DLC, but that's just dialogue mostly and it doesn't really do much.
Do Hearthfires ASAP. You get a house to store your loot, which is something you want now.
Then do Dawnguard at about level 20 at least, just for the better loot and because some sections are pretty tough.
Do Dragonborn last, at around level 50, either before or after completing the Main Quest and/or Civil War. You will be pressured to do it at a certain point of the main quest, however, but if you can work through those encounters, and hold off until you're high enough, it'll be better. Start too soon and it's just a non-stop struggle.
Ok, I'll jump in.
You do not need to be a Thane, nor do you need any letter.
Simply travel to Falkreath at any time, and speak with Jarl Siddgeir. I will often do this at level one or two. (Depending on how I start the game). He will request a bottle of Black-Briar mead. One may easily be obtained just Northwest of the Whiterun Gate at an unmarked bandit camp, or sometimes may be purchased from the local inn.
Doing this will trigger dialog for more work. Complete the following quest, (Usually a mission to eliminate a local bandit leader), to gain the ability to purchase property.
There is the option to travel to Morthal and complete that Jarl's quest. But the quest is considerably more difficult.
Buying property in the Pale is not possible until level 22.