why won't my spouse sleep in our bed?

[Koushirowolf]

I have the house in Solitude and my spouse always sleeps in the stupid guest room in the basement. anyone know why? I tried doing that thing where you move back to their place and sleep to get the lovers comfort and then move back to the house you want to live in but that didn't work. not a huge deal but I'm invested in this relationship haha

[Eternie]

Depends on who your spouse is... if it's Jordis she already has a bed in the basement at Proudspire so won't join you in main bedroom.

You can get around that by moving to a house that already has a house carl sleeping in the guest bed. As such forcing your spouse to sleep with you in a main bedroom.

[Koushirowolf]

Originally posted by Eternie:

You can get around that by moving to a house that already has a house carl sleeping in the guest bed.

which house/s would work then?

[Eternie]

Is Jordis your spouse?
Any of them should work, as long as you make sure you have the house carl in new city before moving your spouse there.

Personally I think Riften is best if you have Iona as house carl. with the outside exit. so you can come and go without needing to go past guards.

Breezehome has a bad or really cheap looking bed and a grumpy Lydia.
Markarth looks expensive has way better facilities but a stone bed for the house carl
Windhelm is difficult to use as a house unless you complete the civil war or have a mod that allows the house without finishing the civil war.

[Koushirowolf]

nope, Scouts-Many-Marshes. And yeah, I was planning on going for Riften next. Thanks for the help!

[Eternie]

Well I hope you have success in Riften!

[evenrocksgrow]

This doesn't really help...

but one time (play-through) I married Camilla. I tried to move her to Whiterun so she could open her merchant business in a big town, as she wanted. She kept travelling back to Riverwood to see Fandall at the tavern. Eventually we built Lakeview and moved in, and I awoke one evening, in the middle of the night (accidentally 'slept' less than I wanted to, and 'awoke' around 2am ish), to find Fandall staring over the bed at Camilla.

I realized I didn't want to stand between them (or one of us may end up dead). I gave Fandall the Chartter to Lakeview, and the wedding ring. They are raising mine and Camilla's two kids.

Sometimes I stop by for some herbs and a nice home cooked meal. Everyone seems happier this way.

[MsFalcon]

Maybe she truly doesn't love you anymore. Kill her. Remarry. Repeat.

[Eternie]

To remarry you need a mod as vanilla skyrim is marry for life .... for the entire playthrough.

[alexander_dougherty]

Originally posted by evenrocksgrow:

This doesn't really help...

but one time (play-through) I married Camilla. I tried to move her to Whiterun so she could open her merchant business in a big town, as she wanted. She kept travelling back to Riverwood to see Fandall at the tavern. Eventually we built Lakeview and moved in, and I awoke one evening, in the middle of the night (accidentally 'slept' less than I wanted to, and 'awoke' around 2am ish), to find Fandall staring over the bed at Camilla.

I realized I didn't want to stand between them (or one of us may end up dead). I gave Fandall the Chartter to Lakeview, and the wedding ring. They are raising mine and Camilla's two kids.

Sometimes I stop by for some herbs and a nice home cooked meal. Everyone seems happier this way.

Camilla and Fandall was a known feature they talked about before they released the game, If you marry Camilla she still carries on with him regardless.