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EDIT: That did not work.
You could try resetting his disposition towards you and see if that helps. Create a hard save first, then open the console (~) and type in:
player.setrelationshiprank 00019822 2
Hit 'enter', then exit the console and click on mr Jarl and see if he's cooperating. Again, make sure you have his letter, the exact one the courier gave you, in your inventory.
Note that under normal circumstances, speaking to him before receiving the letter will simply have him send you off on an additional "Rare Gifts" quest before giving you access to the "Kill the Bandit Leader" quest that you'd otherwise have to wait for.
I don't have any of those quests, I have joined the dark brotherhood but have done nothing with them yet, one thing I did do is kill off all the bandits at knife point ridge prior to getting the letter but that has since reset. I'll give the console command a whirl.