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Diplomacy is key with Mide, don't go for all out wars to the death. Go for shorter strategic wars, and sign peace treaties for lots of money (especially if the AI offers peace don't just accept but see how much they're willing to pay for it).
Additionally, by declaring war on a faction's vassal, their military allies don't join the war. So if you want to hit Aileach later on for instance, you could declare war on their vassal kingdom. That way any military or defensive allies Aileach has will stay out of the conflict.
I also made a guide on the legitimacy mechanic for Mide if you're struggling with that:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2058888973