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No problem, use your special card : "incompetent devs" ! Always works
How the ♥♥♥♥ am I supposed to play a game that's this broken? What the ♥♥♥♥ were the devs thinking, and why haven't they fixed this? Are you supposed to play without upgrading certain abilities, because they don't work?
What the actual ♥♥♥♥ is going on?
"wah wah boo hoo u r full of ♥♥♥♥"
Do you want me to record it and upload it to Youtube as proof?
And you're supposed to buff squires/knights by giving them coins so they can take hits. At that point, you should also be joining them so you can give them coins when the greed occasionally knock one loose.
Also returning to the first island after getting to the second one is a good idea, because if you bring gems with you when you return, you'll be able to pay for the Archery Statue so that your archers no longer suck eggs when it comes to shooting
2) using a portal makes you blind to your actual surroundings, like scrying or having an out of body experience. your body is vulnerable while your mind is abroad. i cant imagine this isnt a deliberate consequence.
3) relying on your archers to MISS when firing on a portal doesnt seem like a sound strategy. also, i think your old archers only succeeded because the number of greed per night time wave is much smaller when you first start out. i think youre sending out the knights at a bad time (during the day, for example) and hitting a night time wave on the way or shortly after arriveing. if your squires get to a portal during the day, only one greed will come out every 6s or so. anyway, anyway, archery statue is the best buff in the game, hands down.
4) i dont think pocket watches exist in the monarch's universe. if she cant see the sun, she has to use instinct and guile. why do you get a stopwatch?
5) as soon as anything isnt absolutely effortless for the lowest common denominator of players, make sure to vent your frustration by blaming the developers for 'bugs'
6) BUT this game REALLY DID have some serious bugs (invisible vagrants, ignored walls, etc), so i cant blame you too hard. all the ACTUAL bugs ive seen have been long fixed.
certainly, none of the things youre talking about are actually bugs, and, in my opinion, all of your experiences described above are part of the intended kingdom experience. youre supposed to experience defeat, and learn from it.