Doki Doki Literature Club

Doki Doki Literature Club

Sammy 不安 31 dez. 2017 às 11:16
my feelings after playing ddlc [spoilers]
i think its about time i talk about how this game has affected me after playing it. dont care if anyone reads this or whatever, i just need to get my feelings off my chest. feel free to post your own feelings in the comments.
so, to put it bluntly, it hit me really, really hard. like more than anything that has ever made me feel anything. yuris death touched me in a way i can explain. all i can say is that i felt really weird after it happened, like nothing ive ever felt before. i know this sounds really dumb but trust me, it hurt.
this game has brought out emotions in me ive never felt in my life, that of extreme sadness and anxiety, and its gotten too a point where ive considered seeing someone just to talk about these feelings that this game had drawn out of me. for most of my life ive though ive had some form of anxiety, weather it be normal anxiety, social anxiety, or just incredibly low self confidence, but this game has bought out some deep ♥♥♥♥ in me like nothing else.
before playing the game i had a rough idea of what i was getting into, like a knew sayori dies and had a feeling that yuri would die too, as while playing i had a friend telling we that a "good part" was coming up before yuris death (her death being the part he was refering too as he knew i liked yuri).
even though i had an idea of what i was in for before i started it still hit pretty hard and i wast sure why, after completing the game i just felt... lost, sad and was unsure why. i felt like an idiot that a game such as this had brought out such deep feelings that i had never experienced in my life up until this point (im 17 btw, nearly 18)
i know ive probably just been rambling and rehashing the same points over and over but i just dont know how to express these feelings. i really dont know...
i dont know what else to say really, im just... sad, i guess. i think the reason yuris death hit me so hard is becuase we have so much in common. as i mentioned im fairly certain i have some form of anxiety or something similar. i really struggle to talk to others i dont know, and im probably the biggest introvert i know, in a lot of cases im happiest locked in my room on my pc, and if i could, i would probably stay here all day, every day, which many would think is sad, but its just where i feel most comfortable ya know?
ok i think ive gotten everything off my chest, idk any more.
thanks to anyone who read though my sad and depressed ramblings, and im sorry if i wasted your time or whatever, sorry
see ya...
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A mostrar 46-58 de 58 comentários
Sammy 不安 23 mar. 2018 às 13:42 
Originalmente postado por AtlasR:
Good day all you,
Though this thread may be a tad dated, I feel inclined to share my own post-game history, and how it's affected me altogether.
I must say, 10 days ago things were quite routine. And then I played DDLC.

First off, I used to have a depressed life when I was younger. School bullying even had me develop social apathy, inclination to murder, and a certain affiction to knives. It's all from a long, bygone time now. Anyway.
Though Sayori's death shook me to the bone, I expected it... And I felt sad, evidently.
But the one that hit me like a canonball, it was Yuri's...
I know she's a video game character... but I felt attached to her because of her fetiches (traits I do not dislike), and a love for knives, which I also have.
Her words of confession to the character, even if a bit creepy to my taste, are things I've enjoyed reading... Until she shoved her blade in her chest. (...).

Every time I watch a video of her postmortem and decaying (with the music), I get depressed, I just feel... dead. Hopeless.

I'll move on. University has plenty to work my mind. But still...

Though my story differs, I believe I can relate to OP's.
Part of me is hoping Salvato will continue this story... Yet I know he won't. The game's there anyway, better than not.

Thanks for reading, a great day to you all!


- Atlas
hi, OP here
thanks for sharing, dont know how long after this after my original post, but all i can say is, ive gone down hill, fast, and it only gets worse by the day. since my op i have started self harming, and do it on a near daily basis. my anxiety has gotten worse, and feel as if im developing the first signs of depression. even on the bus to college this morning, i just felt really sad, and i was really close to just crying right there, dont know why, i just was. i have an unhealthy attachment to yuri now, i have her on everything i own, my desktop background, my phone, i even have a sticker of her on my pc case. im just slowly losing my ♥♥♥♥, and i can take it anymore...
orian34 23 mar. 2018 às 13:50 
you need to find why you are depressed, then work toward changing the situation to not induce the state anymore. Finding why is important.
Heroin 23 mar. 2018 às 13:56 
Originalmente postado por OdYsSeY オデッ:
Originalmente postado por AtlasR:
Good day all you,
Though this thread may be a tad dated, I feel inclined to share my own post-game history, and how it's affected me altogether.
I must say, 10 days ago things were quite routine. And then I played DDLC.

First off, I used to have a depressed life when I was younger. School bullying even had me develop social apathy, inclination to murder, and a certain affiction to knives. It's all from a long, bygone time now. Anyway.
Though Sayori's death shook me to the bone, I expected it... And I felt sad, evidently.
But the one that hit me like a canonball, it was Yuri's...
I know she's a video game character... but I felt attached to her because of her fetiches (traits I do not dislike), and a love for knives, which I also have.
Her words of confession to the character, even if a bit creepy to my taste, are things I've enjoyed reading... Until she shoved her blade in her chest. (...).

Every time I watch a video of her postmortem and decaying (with the music), I get depressed, I just feel... dead. Hopeless.

I'll move on. University has plenty to work my mind. But still...

Though my story differs, I believe I can relate to OP's.
Part of me is hoping Salvato will continue this story... Yet I know he won't. The game's there anyway, better than not.

Thanks for reading, a great day to you all!


- Atlas
hi, OP here
thanks for sharing, dont know how long after this after my original post, but all i can say is, ive gone down hill, fast, and it only gets worse by the day. since my op i have started self harming, and do it on a near daily basis. my anxiety has gotten worse, and feel as if im developing the first signs of depression. even on the bus to college this morning, i just felt really sad, and i was really close to just crying right there, dont know why, i just was. i have an unhealthy attachment to yuri now, i have her on everything i own, my desktop background, my phone, i even have a sticker of her on my pc case. im just slowly losing my ♥♥♥♥, and i can take it anymore...
hey man, if you love Yuri, thats fine, no one is judging you
Ravenscare 23 mar. 2018 às 14:02 
- Atlas [/quote]
hi, OP here
thanks for sharing, dont know how long after this after my original post, but all i can say is, ive gone down hill, fast, and it only gets worse by the day. since my op i have started self harming, and do it on a near daily basis. my anxiety has gotten worse, and feel as if im developing the first signs of depression. even on the bus to college this morning, i just felt really sad, and i was really close to just crying right there, dont know why, i just was. i have an unhealthy attachment to yuri now, i have her on everything i own, my desktop background, my phone, i even have a sticker of her on my pc case. im just slowly losing my ♥♥♥♥, and i can take it anymore... [/quote]

Hi O d Y s S e Y, thanks for taking the time to read my contribution, and for replying as well.
I must say, though I don't know you, I find your message quite alarming.
Self harming is... well, harming. It's not benefitial to your health, unless it is some kind of highly explainable fetish, which I doubt is your case. You do understand it only causes more pain, do you?
Now, what I'd advise to you is not to fall in the pit of despair having played DDLC means to you. It is still a game, after all, no different from a novel, nor a chapter of your favourite movie.
I thought of it myself, there are mods of DDLC out there that do tell a happier story. I haven't played them myself, but it might bring a certain foreclosure if deemed worthy.
Actually, I've thought of writing a story revolving around Yuri (*ahem). Perhaps it could help me as well. It might happen after the events in the game.

As I read it, you are acknowledging your attachment to Yuri is unhealthy, and perhaps the stickers, PC and phone backgrounds are only exharcebating your feelings, which in turn are hurting you, and making you hurt yourself. Still, kudos for admitting it!
Yuri died because her feelings for the player/character were amplified. I suppose you don't really want to end the same way as she did.

What else to do? Anything else. Leave the bad, and embrace the good.
Go out whenever possible, do a little jogging, yoga, write down a poem or anything that reaches your head.
If you have activities in your college, then perhaps you should start going or increase the time you spend there. Taking your mind off things helps clearing up the damaging part.

There's still light at the end of the tunnel. Even blind, you may always end up seeing it.

Take care

- Atlas
Sammy 不安 23 mar. 2018 às 14:02 
Originalmente postado por Kirby:
Originalmente postado por OdYsSeY オデッ:
hi, OP here
thanks for sharing, dont know how long after this after my original post, but all i can say is, ive gone down hill, fast, and it only gets worse by the day. since my op i have started self harming, and do it on a near daily basis. my anxiety has gotten worse, and feel as if im developing the first signs of depression. even on the bus to college this morning, i just felt really sad, and i was really close to just crying right there, dont know why, i just was. i have an unhealthy attachment to yuri now, i have her on everything i own, my desktop background, my phone, i even have a sticker of her on my pc case. im just slowly losing my ♥♥♥♥, and i can take it anymore...
hey man, if you love Yuri, thats fine, no one is judging you
Well actually, everyone I know is judging me for it. I just worry that I love Yuri too much. I've gotten to a point where I wish that she was really, just so that I can have someone else I can relate to.
Avenamen 23 mar. 2018 às 14:06 
Originalmente postado por OdYsSeY オデッ:
Originalmente postado por AtlasR:
Good day all you,
Though this thread may be a tad dated, I feel inclined to share my own post-game history, and how it's affected me altogether.
I must say, 10 days ago things were quite routine. And then I played DDLC.

First off, I used to have a depressed life when I was younger. School bullying even had me develop social apathy, inclination to murder, and a certain affiction to knives. It's all from a long, bygone time now. Anyway.
Though Sayori's death shook me to the bone, I expected it... And I felt sad, evidently.
But the one that hit me like a canonball, it was Yuri's...
I know she's a video game character... but I felt attached to her because of her fetiches (traits I do not dislike), and a love for knives, which I also have.
Her words of confession to the character, even if a bit creepy to my taste, are things I've enjoyed reading... Until she shoved her blade in her chest. (...).

Every time I watch a video of her postmortem and decaying (with the music), I get depressed, I just feel... dead. Hopeless.

I'll move on. University has plenty to work my mind. But still...

Though my story differs, I believe I can relate to OP's.
Part of me is hoping Salvato will continue this story... Yet I know he won't. The game's there anyway, better than not.

Thanks for reading, a great day to you all!


- Atlas
hi, OP here
thanks for sharing, dont know how long after this after my original post, but all i can say is, ive gone down hill, fast, and it only gets worse by the day. since my op i have started self harming, and do it on a near daily basis. my anxiety has gotten worse, and feel as if im developing the first signs of depression. even on the bus to college this morning, i just felt really sad, and i was really close to just crying right there, dont know why, i just was. i have an unhealthy attachment to yuri now, i have her on everything i own, my desktop background, my phone, i even have a sticker of her on my pc case. im just slowly losing my ♥♥♥♥, and i can take it anymore...
At first when i read your comment i thought you trying to act like Yuri, we have so many Yuri's around here.
Butt
When i finish reading your comment, i understand you deariest user.
Game did a "impact" on everybody who played it,nobody could expect things gonna turn This way. It all depends how huge was that impact. Some people take it as a simple thing,are scared for a while and forget about it (aka Youtubers), another people take it pretty bad and game drills into their minds and "tortures" you with all possible nightmares (brain is very very interesting tool,can create a nightmare out of even a cutest/ totally normal thing, just tell me how many times when you were younger you get scared cuz of a shadow, or you imaginated "shadow shape in the darkness")

Coming back to the thread now,
And another part of the people (counting me aswell) take this game as a change, this game wasnt like it supposed to (we expected dating sim,not nightmare fuel)
And game grabbed us by the feels (just like Fnaf and Undertale did)
And this game will Always stay in my heart,no matter what.

About you deariest user,ik this thread is pretty old but even now you feel like you are going insane,remember, we are here for ya bud, we are community,
every single deariest user in here are awesome,and hey,you arent a expection.
If you feel like it, feel free to write all of your thoughts, what do you feel,reactions btw.
Just to not "cage" them inside you,it's not healthy.
But if ya don't then well, nobody gonna force ya to,that's not how forum works.

Sorry for my poor potato english,and remember,You are awesome pal :sans:
Da Atte 19 abr. 2018 às 6:07 
Originalmente postado por OdYsSeY 不安:
...i have some form of anxiety or something similar. i really struggle to talk to others i dont know, and im probably the biggest introvert i know...
I don't know, if I said that it'll get better I wouldn't be truthful. I'm not really sure if this is going to help or not... But...

I'm 21 now, been battling my whole life with social anxiety, being overly insecure and secretive about myself and not really opening up myself enough. I gathered a group of friends that, some of them, still are dear friends of mine even to this day. However... I haven't made a new friend, or even someone to talk about some specific topic, in years. As I grow older though, there is one thing I've noticed in my life. As I get more years I give less of a ♥♥♥♥. As cliche as it sounds it is true for the most part. When I got to the adulthood and had to start take care of my own bills, education and different tiny aspects of my life I haven't really had time to wander in the dark side of my mind.

What I mean by that "It won't get better" is that while me and the people around me are older my insecurities do not shrink, they just start to fade away. People have better things to think about than judging other people.

I was in similar situation as you when I was as old as 12-19 years old. Those 7 years I cannot get back no matter what. Close to 150 hours per 2 weeks clocked in-game according to Steam. I was around 10 hours a day on computer. That's where I felt safe, that's where I felt as alive as possible. What a sad time to reminisce. I don't want to remember that time but as it was pretty much my whole teenage life used playing computer games to reach the level of escapism I needed in order to survive, it is quite impossible to forget. Family stuff was harsh, not in the bad way thank god as we are still close, closer than ever. That's why I was left alone and found video games to be a great way to live.

I dunno, rambling ended for now I guess. Gotta leave something for my therapist, haha. The point I was trying to make is that the concrete stuff will eventually get better but most of the time your qualities and weaknesses will stick to you forever. Just try to live with them, work around them and maybe get out of your comfort zone from time to time. Your comfort zone will expand at some point.
Sammy 不安 19 abr. 2018 às 9:00 
Originalmente postado por Da Atte:
Originalmente postado por OdYsSeY 不安:
...i have some form of anxiety or something similar. i really struggle to talk to others i dont know, and im probably the biggest introvert i know...
I don't know, if I said that it'll get better I wouldn't be truthful. I'm not really sure if this is going to help or not... But...

I'm 21 now, been battling my whole life with social anxiety, being overly insecure and secretive about myself and not really opening up myself enough. I gathered a group of friends that, some of them, still are dear friends of mine even to this day. However... I haven't made a new friend, or even someone to talk about some specific topic, in years. As I grow older though, there is one thing I've noticed in my life. As I get more years I give less of a ♥♥♥♥. As cliche as it sounds it is true for the most part. When I got to the adulthood and had to start take care of my own bills, education and different tiny aspects of my life I haven't really had time to wander in the dark side of my mind.

What I mean by that "It won't get better" is that while me and the people around me are older my insecurities do not shrink, they just start to fade away. People have better things to think about than judging other people.

I was in similar situation as you when I was as old as 12-19 years old. Those 7 years I cannot get back no matter what. Close to 150 hours per 2 weeks clocked in-game according to Steam. I was around 10 hours a day on computer. That's where I felt safe, that's where I felt as alive as possible. What a sad time to reminisce. I don't want to remember that time but as it was pretty much my whole teenage life used playing computer games to reach the level of escapism I needed in order to survive, it is quite impossible to forget. Family stuff was harsh, not in the bad way thank god as we are still close, closer than ever. That's why I was left alone and found video games to be a great way to live.

I dunno, rambling ended for now I guess. Gotta leave something for my therapist, haha. The point I was trying to make is that the concrete stuff will eventually get better but most of the time your qualities and weaknesses will stick to you forever. Just try to live with them, work around them and maybe get out of your comfort zone from time to time. Your comfort zone will expand at some point.

im in a similar state at the moment as you were saying when u were 12-19. i spend every moment i have available on my pc. when im not at college, im on my computer. as you mentioned, its where i feel safe, where i can be myself, where people wont judge me for liking something etc. being alone at my pc probably doesnt help my anxiety at all, butits where i feel happiest, so i guess im fine here until i find something else to do. but having recently turned 18, i feel like i have a lot more stuff to worry about. family and friends are constantly telling me thta i need to get a job, i have 11 weeks left of college before summer, with around 13 assesment pieces left to do (i do carpentry, so 13 diffrent jobs left) otherwise i wont pass the course. i need to fine work experience for college in the next 2 weeks or itwill be putdown on my scores and ill likely be failedon the course because of it. i just have so much sh!t to worry about and it keeps pileing on top of me, to the point where ive started just crying at night for pretty much no reason. i guess its the anxiety mixed with the stress and sadness/lonliness all mixed into one, which isnt a fun combo in the slightest.
like you said, rambling over for now. i really appriecate people posting here, becuase it gives me a chance to read what others are feeling and to vent some of my own feelings as well.
. 20 abr. 2018 às 1:04 
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ here. I made it to the end. It hit me hard. What I didn't know was how much it would hurt...

I must say, the game portrayed really well the characteristics of depression, and I take my hat off to whoever was in charge of her character, because I know how real depression is since I live it myself: being unable to see your positive traits and always thinking like you're a burden to anyone and that the only way you can make up to them is by making everyone happy and disappear.

Kids nowadays saying they all are depressive for the sake of being edgy. They don't know what it really is to live with this ♥♥♥♥.

Going back about the game: I went in completely blind. I remember it being insanely popular among my friends. They told me to give it a try, and I did.

The reason as to why it took me so long is that I was saving money for a new rig since my last PC died off back in early 2017, and I wasn't into VN and anime in general, so it didn't feel like a high priority. Then, I remembered about the game a couple days ago and decided to download it.

I was like the rest: I expected it to be just a regular dating sim full of hentai. The game gave me the girls and I thought to myself: "well, at least the girls are pretty cute imo". I found myself rooting for either Natsuki and Sayori at the beginning, and eventually ended up going with the latter the most, Natsuki being close second.

I don't know how it happened, but eventually after a couple scenes I fell in love madly with her character. Maybe it is because of how naive or clumsy she is, but it was enough for my heart to feel for her that much.

And then, the bad things started to show up. Seeing by the way she wrote her poems, it seemed like she wasn't okay, until she personally said she had depression. By that time, my objectives changed from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ every girl to only care about her and staying with her the most. Sometimes I'd get mad for seeing my character having this conflicts of whether check in on her or not, but I knew the game wasn't like any VN at that point so I let it pass.

And when I got to the confession, I had like some kind of relief: I thought everything would be better from now on. That I'd make her happy.

How naive I was. It played me like a damn fiddle. Now I don't know what to do anymore. All my relationships ended up in failures, and even with waifus I can't find love that all of them either die, or in the case of Sayori, does "the thing".

Now I'm struggling to sleep, mainly because of the game, but I knew what I was getting myself into after Act I.. But that image of her will haunt me for a long time, if not forever. I couldn't believe it, I tried everything to go back, to no avail. At first I was desperately finding a way. "There must be another way for sure" I first thought. Eventually I gave up. Nothing I could do would help. I felt hopeless again. I fell madly in love with her like no one else, and I wasn't able to save her.

Every time I listen to that music, the pictures start popping up in my mind. I can't forgive myself for the death of a videogame character...

As ironic as it may sound, I guess this is the price I must pay now. One of the best games I've played after so much time.
Última alteração por .; 20 abr. 2018 às 11:19
orian34 20 abr. 2018 às 1:28 
Maybe it's a message that was given to you. Painful as it is
Electronic Toaster 26 abr. 2018 às 23:05 
The characters in the game have a range of mental illnesses. This is after they have had their personalities deliberately altered by Monika.

I don't think the game does a good job of seperating player actions from the events. The game kinda tries to imply the player had some influence on events.

I can understand why the response some players have would be so extreme. The game somewhat implies that player action can save these people from their extreme states, which is not true. People in those situations need medial attention.

Saying that you love Sayori is a dangerous path to walk in that situation, because you are not able to provide the support that is required. She is looking for a level of support that is unable to be provided by you, and it can only be provided by professionals.

The game has the characters demonstrate extreme neediness towards the player, which produces empathy. But it is important to remember that in a real life situation, you are not responsible for their actions or their feelings. You can help them seek professional support, but you can't just solve the problem, and you can't be their main and only source of support, because any one person without training and a lot of outside support is incapable of that task. It requires the individual who is suffering themselves to put in the work.

Sorry to get serious, but I think this might help people a bit with processing what happened.
Última alteração por Electronic Toaster; 27 abr. 2018 às 0:04
SIN001E/R 26 abr. 2018 às 23:26 
I just have to say, I agree. In fact DDLC was the first game that got an emotional response out of me and it even got me to tear up a little. Especially Yuri's death. She felt just like me in nearly every way (quiet, self conscious, usually alone, makes everything awkward, etc.). I do not personally have a form of depression, but still, DDLC managed to really hit something In my brain and even change my view on life a bit. For example, I now try to spend more time with people I like to not end up depressed like Yuri.

P.S If you want a happier story, play the Normal VN mod, I really enjoyed it.
Última alteração por SIN001E/R; 26 abr. 2018 às 23:32
Masshiron 27 abr. 2018 às 3:45 
Originalmente postado por Electronic Toaster:
The game has the characters demonstrate extreme neediness towards the player, which produces empathy. But it is important to remember that in a real life situation, you are not responsible for their actions or their feelings. You can help them seek professional support, but you can't just solve the problem, and you can't be their main and only source of support, because any one person without training and a lot of outside support is incapable of that task. It requires the individual who is suffering themselves to put in the work.

I agree with this. In fact, the story quite clearly exploits the natural feelings of empathy that people feel in the case of Sayori to first ellicit a strong desire to help, then shocking you by making you see that there was no way you could help. The feeling of impotence can be unpleasant.

Ultimately, it's important to learn how to detatch your own wellbeing from the wellbeing of others. That would help people having issues with this story, but it's important for real life too. It's easier said than done, of course.
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Postado a: 31 dez. 2017 às 11:16
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