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LMAO, some questions here... ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, literally speechless. :D
thanks
Most likely you haven't turn something on or off.
But make sure that any form of AA is turned offf in NVIDIA/Radeon settings (force it), and try plying in DirectX FULLSCREEN (No borders, don't play in a window). If performance is similar try launching in the OpenGL API, on some cards, this may be much faster.
BTW - what's your specs?
OHHHH I FORGOT! Did you try turning off Steam Overlay and any otther services like this?