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Most common mistake I see in a game is trying to be too long. Longer is not better, and often shows amateur craftsmanship. A good designer knows when it's time to end the story, due to fatigue or boredom. Not sure if I'd say that Okami is guilty of that, but it's something I tell people a lot, because I see it a lot.
From one storyteller to another, I would recommend having a sort of personal quest that your story fulfills. Without something like that, it might turn out hollow and uninspiring. What's a story without a piece of your soul in it? That's a rhetorical question, of course.