What is the best strategy for Escort missions?

[Jurassic Fart 1]

I feckin' HATE these gawdamned missions—especially the second one, the one where you pick up the @55hole at the airport. Supposedly, the best strategy is to keep taking side streets…but there aren't any gawdamned side streets at the airport, just a whole bunch of feckin' main thoroughfares with very few offshoots. What makes it impossible is the complete lack of weapons…despite that plick-teasing grenade icon that's a damned lie, that doesn't work.

I've attempted this damned thing twenty damned times, and I can't hit on anything that works. I can't even get out of the car and SHOOT the bastidge.

Geniuses online on other threads are full of CRAP about this; one guy was even saying how it was his favorite kind of mission 'cause he got to shoot people through the windshields! There aren't any GUNS in these missions! Another rocket-scientist said the key was to "stay in that big open area at the airport and duck around."

Almost universal is a hatred of the Snatch missions, but as sucky as I find them, I'd much rather do twice as many of them if I don't have to bear these stupid escort missions. It's be a lot easier if I could use a gun.

EDIT: Plus, you're forced to drive a slow and delicate car. I want a Bulldog with nitrous oxide (even though Nitro is supposed to be on all the cars, it doesn't work during these missions, and the paparazzi have no trouble keeping pace).

[Fenrir]

Move away from the airport and off the highway as soon as you can. Drive over a hill if there isn't a clear path and never go in a tunnel. Don't drive too fast because the vans will spawn in front of you and you risk ramming other cars which can get you stuck. And you're supposed to ram the guy you need to kill.

[Jurassic Fart 1]

Thanks, guys—I got so p1ssed off that I used my remaining take-over assist on the airport, even though that was the only activity there. Then I ran into that stupid DLC skyblazing mission and experienced a similar problem there. Screw it; I'm ignoring that mission line—to Hell with shooting for 100%. It's an exercise in elevation of blood pressure, not fun at all. If it's not fun, don't do it.

[❌Legend🅰ry Boss❌]

Wut those are the best missions to do Learn the map and shortcuts . You can also make paparazzi get stuck drifting is key on those quick turns. Best of luck buddy

[Jurassic Fart 1]

"Best missions?" Are ya outta yer cotton-pickin' mind? They're frikkin' impossible! All it does is p1ss you off! I appreciate your input, Legend, but I'm gonna have to admit a$$holishness impatience and beg off.

I'm almost 60, and I just don't have the tolerance or patience for some of these crap missions. I mean, it's not like if I get 100% some development company's gonna hand me a 500K-a-year contract, right?

I just have fun with the stuff that's doable. When I started gaming, the hardware consisted of a pinball machine, and then we thought we were hot $hit when we got an Atari Pong console. People would come over to our house to play. I really started getting into gaming, though, in 1996, when they releaed the first Tomb Raider. Back then, every time you bought a new game, you had to buy a new sound card. It's a lot better, now.

[Fenrir]

Well, you have to admit that some of the commentary like 'Is it supposed to taste like that?' can be quite funny. I guess the trick would be to just ignore the targets and enjoy the banter.

[Jurassic Fart 1]

I liked the Zimos-Warhol painting. I mean, really—a Zimos painting by Andy Warhol would go for millions! I thought it was so hilarious when "the boss" said, "That is one fecking ugly painting!"

[Candesco]

Ah, that one, where you start to pick a ho at the road there. Don't drive on the airport itself. Instead, follow the road before you and move away from wesley cutter international. Head towards the freeway and either go to Loren Square or Camano Place/Rosen Oaks. I head myself to Loren Square and lose the press there. Watch out for small streets and don't head into that tunnel.

By the way; there is also the tiger escort. Now that one will probably really get you on your nerves, as the tiger starts to attack if it becomes angry. And that is not fun.

[Jurassic Fart 1]

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! The Tiger Escort missions! Actually, I really enjoyed those—they're easy-peasy if you have your health bennies maxed out. That damned tiger mauls you just for the Hell of it; I've noticed his attacks don't correspond with the aggravation meter's level. I laughed like crazy driving those missions.

On my first playthrough, though, my health benefits were not maxed out, so my experience then was quite different—I died a few times before finally managing to complete the assignment.