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You can force a private lobby by use a custom property in the steam launch options.
Right click on Feather in steam and select > Properties
Under the General Tab, you should see a "Set Launch Options" button select it.
Then inside the text box enter:
-room <UniqueRoomName>
Where <UniqueRoomName> is something you can share with your husband.
I might use something like: -room DanIsCool
Then you should be able to invite your husband through steam or have them also set their room as the same name.
Hopefully this helps! Please let me know how you go!
- Dan