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I'm not certain she can just be told to move to a different house. But I do know she can be assigned as a steward for one of the Hearthfire houses, which will move her to that particular house. If you marry her, I believe she can be moved as well.
the easiest way is with hearthfire, make a housecarl w/o a house follow you to one of the 3 sites, after you've built the basic structure tell them you need a steward; and they'll take on that role at the new location. it's a one-time deal though, can't relocate them again or dismiss them from that job w/o console commands again. (edit, no, you can, but that house will remain steward-less.)
there is a further glitchy situation you can get into when they have 3+ roles and you relocate them, say wife-follower-housecarl-steward; you send them back to their original house or to another of yours, they go bonkers, I guess because so many of them involve being "home", and you can only have generic NPC conversations til you fix them, they'll do none of their dialogues. takes a LOT of console commands.
Thanks everyone!