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Though, I was a little bit confused about the grandparents fail at taking care of Finn, since the parents have passed. But now, I see (I think you helped me understand it).
The parents have died in some way, then Finn has been left to the grandparents to bring him up. But eventually – probably because grandpa and grandma weren't really at their best – Finn died.
I think the treehouse fire was an accident that Finn caused probably because of the loneliness and frustration he was feeling. Since not only his grandparents were neglecting him but his sister as well; she was in love with Cam. And I think their relationship started even before the death of their parents. Maybe that is why Scarlet couldn't have let her parents go, as well as Finn. That's why, in the end, her parents and brother are going away together. She hasn't really had a good relationship with her parents because she was going out with Cam. Well, at least she neglected them. And she also neglected her brother, that's obvious. So, she had to learn the feelings of her loved ones in order to be able to let them go.
Or... I don't know. Actually, it doesn't seem right...
At the end, the parents are worried about having Finn been pushed away, losing him. But why would they be worried about it when they are dead?
Maybe Finn died first. No, it doesn't make sense.
Someone should really explain it. :D
But that wouldn't explain why he doesn't remember his parents... Someone! Help!
So he began to do as young boys do to get some attention, not always in a good way. He set the tree house on fire and burned the siblings' things, causing everyone a lot of grief. Later on he "ran" away on the boat and drowned.
The bit in the cave is not about Finn. He doesn't say "we" he says "he", as I recall. I think he means the young boy whose tombstone is visible on the island, presumably the rabbit boy, who also died at a very young age. He probably died in the cave in the 1800's and so that was a long time ago, and totally unrelated to the Blackwood family's story.
That's my interpretation.
the grandparents aren't dead nether is Cam, Barry or even the old teacher, they the people he is leaving behind and while they are lost without him at the moment he uses scarlet as a medium to give something of him to help them move on but more importantly gets a final adventure with his sister and gets her help so he can recognise his parents an move on.