I'm in love with Marnie.

[Bruce]

Yes, yes, I know. I need to get a real life, not this one that I am currently living in Stardew Valley. For, against all reason, I find myself in love with Marnie.

As a matter of fact, this situation resembles what I have gone through in real life: Falling for someone else's woman and unable to assert reason over emotion, brain over heart.

It all started over tasking myself to find her boyfriend's shorts. This is not a spoiler — there is virtually no way to find them, and access them, without learning from the internet where they are and how to retrieve them . . . from Marnie's bedroom!

So, to ingratiate myself and get access to her bedroom . . . yeesh, on one level . . . I had to befriend her by giving her gifts, talking to her a lot, and doing her favors. Along the way, I became attracted to her. Something about that face and the way she speaks to me . . .

I found the filthy shorts and returned them to their owner. I felt like throwing them in his face but the game would not let me.

Then I made excuses to visit Marnie in her shop, continuing to chat and give her gifts. The pink cake that my mother sent me went immediately over there; it's one of Marnie's favorites!

At the close of business one time, I followed her into her bedroom. What I was expecting (in this G-rated game), I had no idea. She just stood on one side of the room while I — the game does allow this — got into her bed! (Don't worry, nothing happened.)

Another time, I caught her as she was about to leave for exercise class with her friends at Pierre's. I escorted her all the way over there, with the shift key pressed down to walk instead of auto-run. I followed her into the room with four or five other women in it and I sat in the chair in that room, watching her exercise, for (virtual) hours. Truly!

Then, all the way home to her house. Slam, went the door in my face!

I would never resort to murder, even in a (g-rated) computer game. But, I wonder if there is a way to break up her relationship with that guy and have her to myself. She is the one that I want to marry.

[Now, all of this is tongue-in-cheek. It happened in the game the way I described, all of it, except that I was indulging my sense of humor. And, frankly, remembering something that actually did take place in my life.]

[Lex]

this should belong in a museum

[Bruce]

Yes, the museum of virtual, long-lost love. ;-)

[ChrillBill]

Welp, she is definitely at the bottom of my favourite npcs, and you cannot marry her. I know of one mod from many years ago which made it possible, but I have no idea how good it worked and it is not something I will recommend since it is severely outdated.

Also this;

Originally posted by Bruce:

It all started over tasking myself to find her boyfriend's shorts. This is not a spoiler — there is virtually no way to find them, and access them, without learning from the internet where they are and how to retrieve them . . . from Marnie's bedroom!

They are actually quite visible from outside of her bedroom, while visiting or doing some shopping. That's how I first spotted them on my first playthrough

[Antidote#77]

Most sane Stardew post i have seen today

[Bruce]

Originally posted by Antidote#77:

Most sane Stardew post i have seen today

Moreover, my in-game sanity has recovered somewhat. I will never forget Marnie ... How could I? I need to get livestock from her! ... However, I have been "steered" to Emily on the rebound, so to speak.

This was accomplished by Clint tasking me with obtaining amethyst for Emily. Suspiciously, the very next time I went down in the mines, amethyst was available for the first time.

Clint said to give the rock to her and to tell her that he sent it. Whether he was doing this for his own sake or he was setting me up (I suspect the latter), she paid no attention to its provenance other than I was the one giving it to her. I received a comic "SMOOOOCH" for my troubles.

But what really opened my eyes was the gift of cloth that I received from her in the mail. After giving everybody else stuff like I was Santa Claus or something, I finally *received* a gift! (Well, one that was not from my mother. And other than well-meaning food recipes.)

Exploratory romancing has now commenced. Emily may be the one, now. She would have to understand that she is my second love but hopefully she will not mind that and ours will be the true and lasting love of a "lifetime" (in game time, that is).

Marnie, eh, I wish her well but not her boyfriend. I better not ever see his shorts laying around anywhere again.

[Bruce]

P.S. - For sure, the game intends for Emily and I to be together. The only question I have is whether this would have happened anyway or whether there was something I did to trigger this sequence:

She appears at my door one morning, very friendly and offering me the use of her sewing machine to work on the cloth that she gave me. (I did not need to tell her that I had already donated it to a bundle in the Community Center, whew!) Then, when I came around to her house to see her, with a gift of course, she was having a dream sequence in which I appeared. When she awoke, she said "Bruce ... there's something about Bruce ... our destinies are fated to intertwine."

Look, I need a wife and I need to get over my infatuation with Marnie. I agree wholeheartedly to be led by the nose in this situation!

[Lex]

Originally posted by Bruce:

P.S. - For sure, the game intends for Emily and I to be together. The only question I have is whether this would have happened anyway or whether there was something I did to trigger this sequence:

She appears at my door one morning, very friendly and offering me the use of her sewing machine to work on the cloth that she gave me. (I did not need to tell her that I had already donated it to a bundle in the Community Center, whew!) Then, when I came around to her house to see her, with a gift of course, she was having a dream sequence in which I appeared. When she awoke, she said "Bruce ... there's something about Bruce ... our destinies are fated to intertwine."

Look, I need a wife and I need to get over my infatuation with Marnie. I agree wholeheartedly to be led by the nose in this situation!

i think your beauty triggered Emily's dream

[EpicRobloxL0rd55]

real love knows no bounds (unless the bound is age. or consent. or species.)!

[Σ-ᒍαאא]

Isnt she like a granny already lol

[Bruce]

Originally posted by Lex:

Originally posted by Bruce:

P.S. - For sure, the game intends for Emily and I to be together. The only question I have is whether this would have happened anyway or whether there was something I did to trigger this sequence:

She appears at my door one morning, very friendly and offering me the use of her sewing machine to work on the cloth that she gave me. (I did not need to tell her that I had already donated it to a bundle in the Community Center, whew!) Then, when I came around to her house to see her, with a gift of course, she was having a dream sequence in which I appeared. When she awoke, she said "Bruce ... there's something about Bruce ... our destinies are fated to intertwine."

Look, I need a wife and I need to get over my infatuation with Marnie. I agree wholeheartedly to be led by the nose in this situation!

i think your beauty triggered Emily's dream

Yes, I do think I look very good in this game thanks to heavy pixilation. That is, pixelation.

[Did you know there were these two very similar terms and that the first has a very different meaning? Look it up in Wikipedia. Of course, I was referring to my manly jagged edges.]

Of course, in real life I am a sow's ear. Not even Pam would look twice at me unless I pumped her full of ale. :-)

[Bruce]

Originally posted by EpicRobloxL0rd55:

real love knows no bounds (unless the bound is age. or consent. or species.)!

Yes.

Originally posted by 尼基:

Isnt she like a granny already lol

No. Not to these ancient eyes. Lo, she is like a spring chicken!

[BirbNotBird]

Originally posted by Antidote#77:

Most sane Stardew post i have seen today

It could be a late bloomer in love. What's wrong with it

[Bruce]

Originally posted by BirbNotBird:

Originally posted by Antidote#77:

Most sane Stardew post i have seen today

It could be a late bloomer in love. What's wrong with it :happyquill:

LOL, at first I read this as "late boomer in love." And it was the truth! But, as I indicated earlier, I am over it. Emily is now my intended, her ditziness notwithstanding.

[Bruce]

My thanks to whomever gave me that poetry award. I don't get (favorable) awards too often!

[Bruce]

In case anybody else cares about my story, I married Emily on 9 Summer, Year 2 and it's been love ever after. Except that Emily doesn't do very much so far except moon over her injured parrot.

That's okay, though, because she is easy on the eyes and ears and has intelligent things to say. Also, I have to remember that she has her night job at the saloon which brings in imagined cash.

How she can be Haley's sister is beyond me. That girl is a major ditz.