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Marriage in the game doesn't depend on what situations you've been in (to my knowledge). I think if you have her up to the right heart level you should be able to marry her.
Yes, as far as I know, you shouldn't be able to "miss" this events. They can still happen as long as you go to the right place at the right hour. You'll need to actually get in the water to trigger the cutscene. But you should still be able to buy the thing from the mariner and marry her regardless.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=644318550
Thanks for the tips, while I had been in the bathhouse before, I never realized this room existed. Score, LITERALLY!