Why is marriage so depressing!?

[abyss]

I've been watching gameplay of this game for some time now (as in first-hand over-the-shoulder watching) and I have to say, the marriage in this game is depressing as all hell. And I don't understand why.

It almost feels like the "married life" part of the game isn't/wasn't finished or something. For instance...

• Why do married partners give up their hobbies? Nobody asked them to do that!
  
• Why do partners always complain about never going into town? The town is right over there!
  
• Why do they constantly say they miss their family or feel isolated? Their families usually live, like, 30 minutes walk away!
  
• Why do they just sit in the house/on the porch all day? What happened to their routines? Why don't they go and see their friends anymore or do the jobs they were doing?
  
• Why don't they come to bed when the player does? I watched Sebastian sit staring at a house-plant until 1:00am (we timed him)
  
• Why, in essence, does it feel like people were happier before we married them?

I think it's come to something when you need to install a mod just to make the married-partner dialogue less sad. Maybe it's just Sebastian, but it's kind of distressing that his AI seems either heavily depressed, or straight up broken now that he's married.

I mean, I can already see the comments saying all the jokes like "Well marriage sucks lol" and such-forth. And to be honest, I'd understand if there was a mechanic that made your partner moody and upset if they weren't kept happy. But to have them moping around like a caged bird all day when their happiness meter is supposedly maxed-out makes for an unusual and disconcerting play experience.

Is the marriage system just... not finished yet, or something? I know that children don't progress past being crawling babies yet, so I'd not be surprised if it's all running on a very rudimentary system. If that's the case, it'd be nice to know if changes are planned.

[alicat1235]

I mean, Prior to version 1.06 I definietely felt this way as well, but it's definitely changed since the updates. Your spouse will leave at LEAST once a week, if not more. Sebastian should leave twice a week. They used to say only generic things, but now my wife Abi will tell me to be careful in the mines and give me bombs and stuff. She's never expressed loneliness or not going to town, but I have a feeling this may be because the sebastian who you've been watching isn't at a very high heart score. I've seen spouses say stuff like that you think they're ugly when they're at a low heart, so it makes sense that they would also say things like this at a low heart. Low heart spouses also sometimes just stay in bed sad all day. Spouses that have jobs DO go in to town to do them (thus why Penny isn't around the house enough) but sebastian works from home so he doesn't need to do that. They WILL go to see their friends though - sebastian should go to the saloon every friday night to hang out with abigail and sam.

Basically, if your spouse seems sad/ isn't leaving the house much/ lost all character - make sure you've gotten the most recent updates (or that you're watching someone who has the most recent updates) and that your spouse is happy.

[Sweet 'N Low]

I married Sebastian as well. I agree that he doesn't seem to leave the house much, but he didn't before marriage either. He doesn't seem to hang out with Sam as much, though.

However, my experience with him is pretty different otherwise. He seems happy. He gives me gifts, compliments me, and talks about how he likes living on the farm.

Maybe it has to do with how often you give them gifts/talk to them? I give him a favorite gift (sashimi) everyday, and talk to him whenever it lets me.

[ffets]

I married Elliot. He has 2 sets of dialog per day. In the morning he makes coffee, waters the crops or feeds the animals. Sometimes he goes writing and visits his shack on the beach. He always asked, if I can do without his help. Very seldom he wants to stay in bed for a day.

When I return in the evening, he makes me compliments or whisperes a love poem in my ear he wrote during the day. We have 2 children and are happy all four (I believe). The only isssue (probably a bug): Sometimes, when I return late at night, both kids are standing around in the house (but not interactable) and he lies in our bed and does not care. As they do not respond at all, there's nothing that can be done there, so why should I blame him for that?

[iiKelly]

That's why I'm not going to progress with marrying Sebastian until there are many updates. It seems like he becomes one of the most 'inactive' spouses compared to the other bachelors/bachelorettes. I know I want to choose Sebastian over anyone else, but I'm better off just waiting it out. The Dev did say on the Stardew Valley website that he plans to "add more marriage content for all spouses", so hopefully that includes Sebastian so he goes back to his hobbies.

[Amariel]

Yah, I'd like to see him at his computer from time to time. And going to Sam's for a jam session on Saturdays. Good lord man, I was managing the farm before we married and I can sure as heck do it now that we are!

[Crystal Mendrilia]

Just foudn this out while looking about what's going on.

I married Alex, and he's got 11/12 hearts as I type this. This is not from lack of trying on my part. I'm always loving on him whenever I can find him! Sometimes I can't even see him anywhere in the morning. Other times, it's like, 1pm and he's still in bed, not wanting up all of the sudden. The other day I tried hugging him and he grumbled, I discovered I'd lost 3 hearts! D: so I fixed it, but it's just fluctuating all over the place! :(

I like me my Alex!