Why is marriage so depressing!?

[abyss]

I've been watching gameplay of this game for some time now (as in first-hand over-the-shoulder watching) and I have to say, the marriage in this game is depressing as all hell. And I don't understand why.

It almost feels like the "married life" part of the game isn't/wasn't finished or something. For instance...

• Why do married partners give up their hobbies? Nobody asked them to do that!
  
• Why do partners always complain about never going into town? The town is right over there!
  
• Why do they constantly say they miss their family or feel isolated? Their families usually live, like, 30 minutes walk away!
  
• Why do they just sit in the house/on the porch all day? What happened to their routines? Why don't they go and see their friends anymore or do the jobs they were doing?
  
• Why don't they come to bed when the player does? I watched Sebastian sit staring at a house-plant until 1:00am (we timed him)
  
• Why, in essence, does it feel like people were happier before we married them?

I think it's come to something when you need to install a mod just to make the married-partner dialogue less sad. Maybe it's just Sebastian, but it's kind of distressing that his AI seems either heavily depressed, or straight up broken now that he's married.

I mean, I can already see the comments saying all the jokes like "Well marriage sucks lol" and such-forth. And to be honest, I'd understand if there was a mechanic that made your partner moody and upset if they weren't kept happy. But to have them moping around like a caged bird all day when their happiness meter is supposedly maxed-out makes for an unusual and disconcerting play experience.

Is the marriage system just... not finished yet, or something? I know that children don't progress past being crawling babies yet, so I'd not be surprised if it's all running on a very rudimentary system. If that's the case, it'd be nice to know if changes are planned.

[Meteorite Shower]

My experience with married life is quite different, practically the opposite. Sure, Abigail stays home a bit more often, but she's rather happy every time I talk to her and she still goes off into town to 'stretch her legs' all the time. I often pass by her as I ride by on my horse doing my own thing.

Honestly, I worry more about who's watching the kids...

[Headrock]

Originally posted by cain:

• Why do married partners give up their hobbies? Nobody asked them to do that!
  
• Why do partners always complain about never going into town? The town is right over there!
  
• Why do they constantly say they miss their family or feel isolated? Their families usually live, like, 30 minutes walk away!
  
• Why do they just sit in the house/on the porch all day? What happened to their routines? Why don't they go and see their friends anymore or do the jobs they were doing?
  
• Why don't they come to bed when the player does? I watched Sebastian sit staring at a house-plant until 1:00am (we timed him)
  
• Why, in essence, does it feel like people were happier before we married them?

Marry Penny. She is the 100% opposite to all of this.

[abyss]

In the playthrough I'm watching, Sebastian was the marriage partner, but ever since the marriage it almost feels like his coding has broken or isn't finished. He seldom leaves the house, or even moves much inside it. He doesn't do his programming anymore, haven't seen him go down the saloon or hanging out with Sam yet.

Maybe the code just needs some time to catch up or something but it feels weird right now.

[[OBN™ CVI] Josh]

Well, I married Abby (yes, she was easy to swoon with amethysts). And i see what you're talking about. She just kinda, sits around the house (or on the porch when she waters my dogs bowl or feeds the animals) all day. I only married her on Spring 3 and so far its summer 15.

But she very rarely goes into town, and she still visits her dad and mom (pierre and caroline) when she goes into town. She usually goes to bed around 9pm? I dunno, sometimes i go to bed as early as 2pm if i want to get the season over with faster.

I don't think abby had any hobbies besides playing video games (moved her stuff to my house) and going to the graveyard (which she still does occassionaly). She stopped playing as many video games and now she just stands by the stove and fridge mostly all day, and since we're expecting a kid, she goes to the damn nursery every other day. The only good thing is she gives me food and sometimes bombs .

[[OBN™ CVI] Josh]

Originally posted by Meteorite Shower:

My experience with married life is quite different, practically the opposite. Sure, Abigail stays home a bit more often, but she's rather happy every time I talk to her and she still goes off into town to 'stretch her legs' all the time. I often pass by her as I ride by on my horse doing my own thing.

Honestly, I worry more about who's watching the kids...

You married abby too? I think she's one of the more popular girls to marry, because I've been seeing people saying they hate haley, and since robin is taken then they aren't left with many choices. Which yea, if robin WASN'T married, I woulda gone for her.

[ZephyrLuxx]

Originally posted by cain:

• Why do married partners give up their hobbies? Nobody asked them to do that!
  
• Why do partners always complain about never going into town? The town is right over there!
  
• Why do they constantly say they miss their family or feel isolated? Their families usually live, like, 30 minutes walk away!
  
• Why do they just sit in the house/on the porch all day? What happened to their routines? Why don't they go and see their friends anymore or do the jobs they were doing?
  
• Why don't they come to bed when the player does? I watched Sebastian sit staring at a house-plant until 1:00am (we timed him)
  
• Why, in essence, does it feel like people were happier before we married them?

Hardly any of that happens in my playthrough. I married Alex and he's generally happy.

He still talks about working out and says how much he enjoys life on the farm because of the fresh air and exercise.

He goes into town regularly to visit his grandparents and talks about how he enjoys the chance to see them.

He does hang out in the house or on the porch. But, whatever, it's not like I spend a lot of time hanging out in the house to watch him hanging out in the house. So, I don't really care.

He's generally in bed by 10pm.

I don't know if who you marry matters (Sebastian is generally more of a brooding character than Alex). I know that they each have their own dialogue and will do different things when they're in town but, I'm not sure what else changes from person to person. I haven't gotten to marry anyone yet in my second playthrough (was planning on Sebby, though). Also, I always talk to my spouse, hug him, and give him a gift every day. Maybe the person you were watching wasn't paying enough attention to Sebastian. I have no idea.

The marriage in this game isn't incredibly deep or anything. But I've found it to be a nice little addition to the game. Definitely not depressing in my experience.

[abyss]

Originally posted by ZephyrLuxx:

Hardly any of that happens in my playthrough. I married Alex and he's generally happy.

He still talks about working out and says how much he enjoys life on the farm because of the fresh air and exercise.

He goes into town regularly to visit his grandparents and talks about how he enjoys the chance to see them.

He does hang out in the house or on the porch. But, whatever, it's not like I spend a lot of time hanging out in the house to watch him hanging out in the house. So, I don't really care.

He's generally in bed by 10pm.

I don't know if who you marry matters (Sebastian is generally more of a brooding character than Alex). I know that they each have their own dialogue and will do different things when they're in town but, I'm not sure what else changes from person to person. I haven't gotten to marry anyone yet in my second playthrough (was planning on Sebby, though). Also, I always talk to my spouse, hug him, and give him a gift every day. Maybe the person in the playthrough you were watching wasn't paying enough attention to Sebastian. I have no idea.

The marriage in this game isn't incredibly deep or anything. But I've found it to be a nice little addition to the game. Definitely not depressing in my experience.

I don't think attention is the problem. I'm watching my girlfriend play through it and she absolutely adores Sebastian. Gives him gifts every day, makes a point to talk to and hug him and all that. He's already at 12 hearts maxed out. There's no reason he should be moody or listless.

Could just be that we haven't given it enough time, but as I said, it felt almost like the marriage broke his AI or something. The day after the ceremony he literally sat staring at a house-plant all night. We thought maybe his pathing AI was stuck there and moved it, but nope, he just stayed put the whole day.

Not sure what's up but I'll keep watching and seeing what happens.

[Meteorite Shower]

Originally posted by OBN™ CVI Josh:

You married abby too? I think she's one of the more popular girls to marry, because I've been seeing people saying they hate haley, and since robin is taken then they aren't left with many choices. Which yea, if robin WASN'T married, I woulda gone for her.

Yeah, I went with Abby. No-one else really appealed to me at first, which is a shame because I was thinking about going with Seb once I had gotten to know him a bit better, but by that point I had pretty much made my move on Abigail.

[Apeonaut]

lol Great I'm dating Sebastion atm but not sure if I want to be married to a manic depressive, just my luck!! maybe it's time to start giving him the farmer's lunch!

[Jean]

Originally posted by cain:

Originally posted by ZephyrLuxx:

Hardly any of that happens in my playthrough. I married Alex and he's generally happy.

He still talks about working out and says how much he enjoys life on the farm because of the fresh air and exercise.

He goes into town regularly to visit his grandparents and talks about how he enjoys the chance to see them.

He does hang out in the house or on the porch. But, whatever, it's not like I spend a lot of time hanging out in the house to watch him hanging out in the house. So, I don't really care.

He's generally in bed by 10pm.

I don't know if who you marry matters (Sebastian is generally more of a brooding character than Alex). I know that they each have their own dialogue and will do different things when they're in town but, I'm not sure what else changes from person to person. I haven't gotten to marry anyone yet in my second playthrough (was planning on Sebby, though). Also, I always talk to my spouse, hug him, and give him a gift every day. Maybe the person in the playthrough you were watching wasn't paying enough attention to Sebastian. I have no idea.

The marriage in this game isn't incredibly deep or anything. But I've found it to be a nice little addition to the game. Definitely not depressing in my experience.

I don't think attention is the problem. I'm watching my girlfriend play through it and she absolutely adores Sebastian. Gives him gifts every day, makes a point to talk to and hug him and all that. He's already at 12 hearts maxed out. There's no reason he should be moody or listless.

Could just be that we haven't given it enough time, but as I said, it felt almost like the marriage broke his AI or something. The day after the ceremony he literally sat staring at a house-plant all night. We thought maybe his pathing AI was stuck there and moved it, but nope, he just stayed put the whole day.

Not sure what's up but I'll keep watching and seeing what happens.

Instead of just watching for more, you should be reporting these findings to the creator (he seems to respond quite often on twitter). I'm not sure if he looks more here or there for reports, but I'm sure he'd want to work to fix this up a bit if it's really so much of an issue.

I'm just about to marry Sebastian come Spring year 2, so I can't really say myself

[Rio]

I never got any of that with Leah, Abby, or Haley. In fact with haley, Emily mentions how much better thier relationship is now that she's moved out.

Leah and Abby don't leave that much. But haley would go into town to visit people like once or twice a week. Haley often mentions that she's going into town at the start of days that she is.

[Rio]

Originally posted by Pyrofish:

In my experience, Leah does not leave the house, ever.
But her lines always says she's very happy and prefers my place over her cabin.

She's usually in her area on the painting, so it'd make sense she stays home.

I wouldn't mind if Leah would give you paintings or statues, honestly.

Leah will go on nature walks rarely.

[Klumpatsch]

Who did you even marry to have such a crappy kind of spouse? I never understood the whole drama people are making out of marriage. Even before the latest update my wife Penny left the house regularily to teach the kids at the library. Now she even goes shopping or taking a walk. She's actually home way too rarely for me.

And she still spends time reading, constantly says how happy she is, and she never ever complained about the house being a mess or her feeling isolated. Also spouses always go to bed at 10 PM automatically. Sometimes you'll have to reenter the house to have that happen (=buggy).

[Meteorite Shower]

Originally posted by приzрак:

Also spouses always go to bed at 10 PM automatically. Sometimes you'll have to reenter the house to have that happen (=buggy).

Very buggy. The other night, Abigail went to bed in one of the kid's beds. I was like, 'Abby, what are you doing, stop' But she just responded like how she normally does around that time of the day ^^; It felt off going to sleep in the double bed alone that night.

So yeah. Marriage still has a few kinks to be worked out.

[ColourBrilliance]

Er... are these things you noticed a few weeks ago? Or maybe you're playing without the latest patch? Because everything you've listed was changed recently