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Whoever "owns" the save file can play alone, but the other person can't. If the game is saved to your girlfriend's PS4, then she can play through Summer without you, and next time you two play together her skills will likely be much higher than yours. The only real penalty for not playing for long periods of time, is that the friendship meter goes down a tiny bit every day, if you're trying to make friends with the townsfolk. If she owns the save file, you can't ever play it by yourself.
Multiplayer itself is smooth, except the audio sometimes glitches - if you're on the farm, and your girlfriend's in the mines, you might hear the mine music or the sound of her going down a ladder. Other than that, the game plays great, assuming you have some sense of communication - there have been several times in my own game where I didn't have any crops to water, so I went and chopped down all the trees in the forest, and as I was re-entering the farm my friend was leaving to go chop down the forest. Communication will save lots of time and money, so if the PS4 doesn't have voice chat, I recommend PC. I recommend PC either way, but I don't own a PS4 - maybe ask on the Stardew Valley subreddit to get the opinions of PS4 players?
https://www.reddit.com/r/StardewValley/