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EDIT: When you upgrade your house, you automatically switch to a bigger bed. And when you upgrade again you get a nursery with a crib and 2 kids' beds. But you can't make any other changes to any of them.
It may be an unlikely scenario and an extreme example, but someone will end up doing it. And if you pass out without a bed, where will the game put you in the morning?
... Or as a much simpler explanation:
The game needs your bed to be in THE SAME PLACE so it can spawn you there in the morning, and so that your spouse knows where to go to sleep at night.
.... what?
You're right. Not having a bed in Minecraft doesn't break the game. It just resets your spawn location to the world default.
Not having a bed in Stardew Valley? That might break the game. You need a bed to sleep, in this game. Sleeping is an important part of this game.
Also, in this game, if you die in the mines you lose some of the items that you're carrying. If you were carrying your bed, it could be lost. Which is probably part of the reason that ConcernedApe (the man who made the whole game) made it so that you CAN'T pick up your bed.
The OP wants the ability to change the appearance of the bed. You don't need to be able to pick up/place beds to do that.
The Catalog could be made to allow a player to simply change the appearance of the bed (for a price) whenever you want.
But until something like that is implemented... that is to say, *if* it's ever implemented... OP's best bet is to seek out mods that will change the appearance for him.